“@&%$ You”

This particular event didn’t happen to me, but to my partner; however, I thought how he handled it was not only professional, but highly amusing. Some of you may very well think that what follows would never happen. I applaud your naivety and your starry-eyed convictions.

My partner stopped some hapless fool recently for some violation or other. The why isn’t important. When my partner returned to the violating vehicle and handed the citation over for signature, it was returned to him with this in the signature box:
“Fuck you”.
Not skipping a beat, my partner replied, “Sir, that’s fantastic, but I’m going to need your legal signature.” He had the violator sign appropriately and sent him on his way. Now, I can’t take exception to how he handled the situation. I can only say what I would have done in his stead.
First, I’d have written out a whole new cite. Why? ‘Cause that bad boy is going in a frame. No way am I giving that one up! Too classic. Second, I’d rattle dude’s chain a bit and say something to the effect of, “Sir, if you pull the same kind of shenanigans, I’m gonna interpret it as a refusal to sign. At which point, I’m going to pull you from your car, put you in handcuffs, and take you to jail. All of your protestations will fall on deaf ears because I will have given you two chances to be an adult and not a childish little prick. So, I don’t want to hear your bitching when I’m booking you for delaying me in my duties.”
But, that’s just me. I’m nothing if not dedicated to my craft.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

7 thoughts on ““@&%$ You”

  1. I was watching Campus PD the other day (just waiting for COPS to come on :P) and a college kid getting a citation for noise (? whatever you get for a loud party) signed his ticket "Poop". Unfortunately the officer didn't catch it till after she'd left. She was not impressed.

  2. Your partner isn't evil enough.

    He could have charged him with CVC 40504(b):
    "Any person who signs a written promise to appear with a false or fictitious name is guilty of a misdemeanor regardless of the disposition of the charge upon which he or she was originally arrested."

    Mwahahahaahhaha

  3. Oh yeah, I would have so put him in handcuffs (of at least threatened to) if I had been him…

    But I'm not a cop.

    Anyway, just finished reading through your entire blog and wanted to say hi! I got linked to your blog through Cop n' attitude, and I was linked to there from a post on a board called Customers Suck! where we vent about the Sucky Customers and other humorous and/or frustrating things we come across in our jobs…

  4. Had this same thing happen to me. I took the @$$hole route though as the offender was a member of the military (which I learned while she was MF'ing me).
    Contacted the local recruiter, who put me in touch with some investigator…
    Long story short, I didn't understand the military lingo but the offender got DINGED at work. 😉

  5. The concept of a “legal signature” is a vague one. (At least Here) it doesn’t have to match the driver’s license or former signatures. It can technically be any marking.