You want me to stop?


Stop (pun intended) me if you’ve heard this one…

A police officer pulls over a driver. He walks up to the driver and says, “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” The driver says, “No, I don’t.” The officer says, “You didn’t stop at that stop sign.” The driver said, “Well, maybe not all the way, but I slowed down! What’s the big deal?” The officer says, “Sir, why don’t you step out of your car and let me demonstrate the difference.” The driver complied at which time the officer began repeatedly hitting the driver with his nightstick. The officer asked the driver, “Do you want me to slow down or stop?”
And now for the boring shit….

Stop Requirements

CVC 22450. (a) The driver of any vehicle approaching a stop sign at the entrance to, or within, an intersection shall stop at a limit line, if marked, otherwise before entering the crosswalk on the near side of the intersection.

If there is no limit line or crosswalk, the driver shall stop at the entrance to the intersecting roadway. (emphasis added)

Not really hard to figure out, is it? Here are some things that don’t count as a stop…
1. Resting your foot on the brake as you approach the stop sign and/or limit line.
2. Quickly tapping the brake so there is a brief weight transfer from back to front making it kind of appear like you stopped…even though it’s fucking obvious you didn’t.
3. Slowing down because “there weren’t any other cars coming.”
4. Slowing down, looking to your left, seeing me, mouthing “Oh, shit!”, and subsequently stopping 20′ into the intersection.
5. Waving at me as you realize what a dipshit you are for either a) doing #4 or b) creeping through without stopping at any point.
I’ve thought about taking a video camera out to one of my favorite spots and letting it run for five minutes or so and letting non-LEO’s tell me which cars stopped and which ones didn’t. I’ve had a few ride-a-longs in my day and I find it interesting that of the stop sign violations I’ve let slide (3-5 MPH w/o stopping), I am frequently asked, “Why didn’t you stop that guy? He just ran the stop sign!”
I find it amusing that a lot of drivers think stop sign tickets are bullshit….yet, these tend to be the same folks that bitch about speeders and stop sign runners in their neighborhoods. And, by the way, it always seems to be “those damn teenagers.” Hilarious.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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6 thoughts on “You want me to stop?

  1. I just want to say I love reading your blog. Very fucking witty & funny. You may be a good or bad cop, I don't know or care to ever personally find out, but you sure are a great blogger! : )

  2. I've never really had a problem coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. It is quite refreshing though, to do so (aside from ya know, it's the law) because that prick behind ya is now even more annoyed. Ah, love it.
    I've been lurking, and now that I've read all of Officer "Smith," I should be able to read more of your snark. Carry on!

  3. Traffic Cop vs VIOLATOR
    A motorcycle officer stops a man for going through a red light.
    The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the motor
    officer. The violator demands to know why he is being harrassed by the
    gestapo.!! The officer calmly tells him about the red light
    violation.The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade,questioning
    the officers ancestry,sexual orientation, etc..,in rather explicit
    terms. The officer being a professional takes it all in stride.
    This tirade goes on without the cop saying a thing.When he gets finished
    writing the citation he puts an AH down in the narrative column of the
    citation in the right hand corner. He then hands it to the "violator"
    for his signature.
    He angrily signs the cite,tearing the paper, and when presented with his copy
    notices the A H down in the corner. He asks the officer what that stands for
    an is told," So when we get to court I can remember that you're an
    asshole.
    Three months later they are in court. The "violator" has such a bad driving record
    that he is about to lose his license so he has hired a lawyer.
    Under cross examination the lawyer asks the officer if this is a resonable
    facsimile of the defendants copy that was issued to his client.
    The officer answers, " Yes sir, thats the defendants copy, his signature
    and my own signature. The lawyer then asks, "Is there any notation
    on there that you normally don't make on a citation??"
    The officer replies, "Yes sir, in the lower right hand corner you will
    see the letters A H , underlined."
    The lawyer then asks the officer, "What does the A H stand for?" and the
    officer calmly relies, " Aggresive and Hostile.".
    Incredulously the lawyer asks, " Aggressive and Hostile??".
    "YES SIR!!" replies the officer.
    The lawyer replies, " Officer are you sure that the A H doesn't stand for
    ASSHOLE??".
    And the officer calmly replys: "Well Sir, he is your client and you
    know him a lot better than I do!!" .