You want me to hold on to what, now?

Dear Other States in the Union that Aren’t CA,

Please don’t laugh at what follows.
Sincerely,
MC
With that out of the way, let’s talk about Prop. 215. What’s that? It’s California’s (I swear I’m not making this up) Compassionate User act of 1996. Could they have come up with a more touchy-feely name? Oh, that’s right, I live in California. We’re not called the Left Coast for nothing.
Now, I realize both of our calendars say 2010 and if my math holds up, this law was enacted 14 years ago. So, why do I bother bringing it up now? Because of a little situation we ran into a few weeks back. We had an officer make a stop for some traffic violation. One thing led to another and the smell of weed permeated the air. A legal search was conducted. A significant amount of marijuana was located. The driver claimed to have a medical marijuana card. For whatever reason, he was separated from his ganja.
Here’s where things get silly. We (and by “we” I mean the PO-lice) had to take his weed for safekeeping. You read that correctly. He didn’t have his card with him. He had no way to prove he was legal. We just sort of took his word for it. I mean how bad a guy could he be rolling around with a few ounces of weed in his car. At night. From party to party. Compassionate care giver, my ass. Greedy dope dealer seems a bit more accurate to me.
Know what safekeeping means? It means we held on to it, he came back to pick it up, and we gave it back to him! Unreal…
I’m not going to get into a philosophical discussion about the morality/legality/dangers/lack of dangers of using marijuana. What I have a problem with is two-fold:
First, I am not your drug safekeeping haven. You want your weed back? Contact the D.A.’s office about getting it back when they inevitably drop the charges I arrested you for. If you are not in compliance with what 215 says, I’m going to arrest you for it. End of story.
Second, I don’t believe anyone under the age of 20 has any of the following (with great exception): chronic pain, insomnia, back pain, anxiety, knee pain. In my humble opinion, those are easy catch-alls that sketchy Docs use when they write bullshit scrips for these chuckleheads. I’ll grant you the occasional “I survived a heinous crash when I was 17 and now I have to sleep in a body cast every night” reason. Okay?
But, I’m not buying that 19 year old Johnny is so overwhelmed with anxiety and just can’t get his beauty rest so he has to hit the spliff to get some shut eye. I’ve had my bouts with insomnia and anxiety in the past…didn’t resort to drugs (legal or otherwise) to muddle through.
Whatever happened to strength of character? Whatever happened to personal fortitude? Unfortunately, Society as a whole is raising a bunch of snot-nosed, self-entitled, medicated, ingrates that Life is going to ever so gently gore when they hit the land of reality. Kind of reminds me of my favorite commercial right now:
Couldn’t have said it better myself. I salute you, R. Lee Ermey!
Before you get your collective knickers in a bunch, let me wrap up by saying I get the reason behind 215. What pisses me off is those amongst the population that either a) use it as a crutch or b) use it as a legal loophole to deal weed.
So, there you have it, folks. In other states, weed will land you in prison. In CA, the cops hang on to it for you. Heaven forbid we deprive you of your voter enacted rights!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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17 thoughts on “You want me to hold on to what, now?

  1. I completely agree with you. There are some people that contain perscriptions for all the wrong reasons & that's a damn shame but it's nice that even though you dont completely agree with it you still uphold the law.

  2. I absolutely love that commercial! Damn that's good!

    So according to your post, and you being five-oh and all, and official and all, and knowledgeable about the law and all, you'll hold my stash for me for a while? Then when I'm ready I can just come and pick it up? Yes?

    I started smoking pot back when it was called reefer and maryjane. Back in those days you could get 25 to life for the possession of one seed, plus a hickory shampoo or two and a free haircut, all courtesy of local law enforcement.

    I couldn't understand the old way, and I don't understand the new way. All I can say is that I haven't smoked any in quite a long time, but I cannot get too excited about someone who wants to sit in the privacy of his own home and smoke a little weed. What bothers me is when the idiot wants to go for a drive down to the carry out for beer, wine and snacks.

    Well sir, you have my sympathy.

  3. "In my humble opinion, those are easy catch-alls that sketchy Docs use when they right bullshit scrips for these chuckleheads"

    I've counted THREE wrong things in that sentence.

    #1: How could you forget about chronic migraines and bouts of nausea? Both of these are extremely debilitating maladies without any apparent symptoms that affect a lot of people regardless of age and gender, you insensitive jerk! Hehehe 😉

    #2: It's "write" not "right"

    #3: It's not a "scrip," it's a "recommendation." As a cop, you should know the difference.

  4. Antelope…

    #1 My apologies.

    #2 Rectified (and thank you)

    #3 True…and yet an argument in semantics, you ask me. 🙂

  5. It is a scrip, Marijuana is still a schedule one narcotic, on the same list as heroin and morphine. No reason for it, it just is, and as such does indeed require a prescription or "scrip" in cop slang.
    Then again they require a prescription for oxygen, so really we're just playing co-pay bingo.

  6. Hell… I've been in chronic pain since I was 19 due to a knee injury where I wrenched my back. I have knee pain, back pain, back spasms, headaches, insomnia. I also have chronic acid reflux… yay stress! But I would never think of using medical marijuana for any of those. If I need to sleep, valerian root works to relax me. If I have a migraine, I have migraine meds… or I beg a massage off of someone. If my back hurts worse than normal (I say that 'cause I honestly don't remember a pain-free day in the past 12 years) I use a heating pad, take some aleve… maybe a vicodin or flexeril. But Mary Jane?

    Damn… just looked at the rules for the Michigan Medical Marihuana Program and it appears that I technically could qualify with the whole chronic pain thing. Maybe if I ever get to the point where I can walk up a flight of stairs, maybe… MAYBE I'll think about lighting a joint.

    Now I'm also wondering why Michigan can't spell marijuana like normal people do…

  7. Speaking as an ER nurse…GIVE HIM BACK HIS WEED!!It'll keep him away from the liquor store, and stoned guys are so much easier to handle when they finally fall on their butts and come in to us.

  8. So I assume that he did indeed have a medical marijuana card. That said, there must be some real dopehead doctors running around that state.

    It does not bother me that cannabis is used medicinally, BUT it needs to be produced by pharmaceutical companies and sold at pharmacies. It is way to easy to defraud this nonsense system they got going on.

    I can go on and on about this because it relates to my family very closely….

  9. Love it. Hate it actually. What about the VC for driving in possession. I love that and DUI if I can swing it!

  10. I've had chronic pain for I Don't Wanna Think How Long and I just don't have the interest in playing with pot for it. I used to go to a pain clinic that gave me tramadol (non-narcotic psuedo-opioid) for day to day and morphine (~30 pills a year) for the worst of it. Now that I have no health insurance I get Advil or… Advil. It really sucks. But not enough for me to even think about using pot.

    A relative who had a medical maryjane license in California used to offer to trade me some of my morphine pills for his pot-laden chocolate. I used to look at him like he was (further) insane.

    Also, to Shay: Here in MI we are "Speshul." I live not far from Ann Arbor, where if you're caught with less than some amount of pot it's a $5 fine. (Ann Arbor is often called "a blue dot in a red state.")

  11. First, I am pro-decriminalisation of marijuana, for 1 very important reason. Alcohol is not the right recreational product for some of the people, it is the only legal product for all the people.

    I know people who drink and it should be a crime for them to be in the same room as alcohol. I also know people who smoke the herb and they shouldn't be allowed to even smell it.

    I am a realist, I don't believe that marijuana is the miracle cure for everything, I do believe it has some medicinal properties. I also don't believe that it is as bad as some people would like me to believe it is.

    Yes, I am sure there people who are abusing prop 215, and our nation has a drug problem we can't control or stop the abuse of the legal products our government claims the responsibility of approving as our legal options.

    My question is how can we continue to justify spending billions of dollars on prohibition laws that have only succeeded in failing?

  12. I have read this a few times before and attempted to post a comment earlier. First, you as an officer you are (regardless of what any one else believes) stuck in the middle of this controversial subject.
    Second as for as the person in question is concerned, if he was prop 215 compliant and it was so important for him to carry his meds he should have and would have had his MMJ card on him.
    Personally I believe that the present policies of prohibition intentionally ignores one very important fact that we as individuals react equally different to the products we consume.
    Alcohol is not the recreational product for some people, by law it is the only legal product for all the people.
    Just as I know people who use marijuana and they should be allowed to simply because it's not the right product for them.

  13. They are probably closely related to the folks who use their dubious handicapped card to park right next to the highly crowded place where no one can get a parking spot, and then complain when you don't acknowledge their crippling case of knee-related agoraphobia (for which they also inevitably have a companion ferret.)

  14. I too love that commercial! (however I admit bias as I am married to a Marine) It seems as though GEICO is going for a new demographic, although the lizard was pretty funny. I feel for you having to deal with the nebulous world of potheads and their quest for legality and legitimacy of their 'DRUG of choice'. Fortunately where I live, it is more black and white (no pun intended) and pot is still an ILLEGAL DRUG which makes arresting potheads easier (and fun)!
    Love your blog!

  15. I think if you're going to have a 215 and NOT follow the rules that are clearly spelled out for you- you should lose what you have on you. I know multiple people, and am related to some with cards and they're almost compulsive about being compliant. On that note I hate to see that system scammed on by some because it really has helped people I've known that traditional medications did nothing for.

    Also, I do have to argue your point about young people with issues. I'm in no way saying that weed is a fix all, but I think you'd be surprised by the number of young folks that have serious to severe sleep problems. I won't even argue about the pain thing, but suffice to say that even bad things or problems can afflict even the strong of character.