What if Happy Medic was a Cop?!

A Uniform Stories Post

Screenshot 2015-08-04 19.59.30I’m in Mississippi for a conference this week, so I’ve tapped the good folks at Uniform Stories for the lion’s share of my content. God bless ’em, they’re okay with it. So, enjoy this post from last year about how my best buddy, HM, would do as a cop.

Tuesday, 0600 hrs.

Justin Schorr, the “Happy Medic”, walks into the PD lineup room on his first day as a cop.

His first question?

“Where’s the coffee?”

See, fellow law enforcers?  Us and Fire aren’t so different after all.

Happy has indeed come out for a ride along with me before, but this piece is going to be my imagining of what his experience would be like if he was rolling solo.

In a typical day, day shift (the shift I’ve worked exclusively for the last eight years) is fairly busy for a beat cop.  Motors is a good gig because we can be as busy as we want, most days.  If there aren’t a lot of crashes, our pro-activity lies squarely on our shoulders.

Right out of the gate at 0615, a domestic comes out.  Too early for a domestic? Agreed, but it happens.  Black humor comments like, “Coffee must have been cold” are uttered.  Inappropriate? Totally.  But, again, HM is not unfamiliar with the reaction that serves to mentally compartmentalize the ludicrousness of spousal abuse.

Justin jumps in the patrol car and drives toward the location. Upon arrival, he forgets his place and advises dispatch he is staging. You know, like they always do.

Dispatch kindly reminds him that it’s his job to metaphorically jump into the fire that is domestic violence. (See what I did there?)  As he enters the residence, he assesses the scene with medic eyes and begins to triage. Believe it or not, this is indeed one of the first things he needs to do: ascertain if any medical assistance is required. At the same time, we need to assess if any threats are prevalent and control the situation. That can take the form of simple uniformed presence to physical restraints or more.

Having been friends with Justin for nigh on six years, I can unequivocally say he is one of the endearing and kind individuals I’ve ever met.  I think he’d make a spectacular investigator.  The man oozes empathy.  After something like 18 years as a medic, it is just as natural as his wit, a mere extension of his persona.  He would do a great job talking with both the victim and the suspect.

As amazing as I think he’d be in an interview situation, if the situation calls for physical interaction, I’m not sure his medic psyche could metaphorically put the smack down on a deserving subject. With some encouragement and guidance, however, I have faith he could handle business.  He’s a lover, not a fighter.  We could beat that out of him.

#InappropriateRimshot (Yeah, I hashtag everywhere. Don’t judge me.)

As he clears the domestic, he is dispatched to an 11-79.  (An 11-79 in my jurisdiction is code for a collision with Fire en route.)  Justin gets the adrenaline dump we all experience when Priority One calls come in.  He’s felt it before, though, so he knows how to efficiently process the feeling.  Not to mention he’s still on a bit of a high from the domestic.

For the rest of my tale, be sure to click-through to the original Uniform Stories post.