Back on 3/13/09, I installed Google analytics on the blog so I could keep book on where folks were logging in from and how often, etc. Don’t fret, it doesn’t keep personal info or anything. It just lets me know which posts are more popular and what area folks log in from.
Since 3/13, I’ve seen the popularity of the blog blossom. Not just in the States, but around the world. With an exception.
For weeks, I have worried I had somehow offended the state of South Dakota. Had I referred to her as “that pussy state below North Dakota”? I don’t recall any such malfeasance. After all, SD is the home to Mt. Rushmore, you know where Team America lives. SD also contains Sturgis, the locale where motorcycle enthusiasts sojourn to every year to sight see, interact with others who share a love of bikes, and to trade crystal meth recipes….maybe even carry out a hit on an opposing outlaw motorcycle gang member. Ah, memories.
I mean, I’ve gotten hits from places like Macedonia (which I’d be hard pressed to find on a map, by the by), Slovenia (isn’t that where Dracula lives? Oh, shit, is Dracula reading my blog?!?), and Bahrain (aren’t we at war with them?). Come on, South Dakota, get your shit together!
And then, today, nearly three months later, a lone stranger in Gettysburg, South Dakota, took the time to stumble on my blog and spend so little time here that it barely registered. That’s not the point, however, my friends. The point is that blank spot on the map of the United States is now green. Just like every other state in the Union. So, thank you, my Gettysburg friend. You’ve relieved the OCD compunction in me, insofar as it relates to Google analytics.
Feel free to pass pass the blog around to the other, what, 500 people or so that live in South Dakota. And don’t take any more shit off those bastards in the North. (Note to bastards in the North, you were here first, you know my loyalties lie with you, right? Besides, those fuckers in the South probably can’t even read this part.) SD, you can’t be pissed at me, I included a link to your damn travel page. I’m trying to increase your popularity and sway in the Union!
And now I turn my sights on you, Guam. Oh yeah, I’m coming for you!