Ok. We all know you’re required to wear your seatbelt whilst your vehicle is in motion, yes? Good. Come July 1, 2008 (less than two months from now), we’ll all be required to have hands free cellphone features. *Giddy* You have no idea how many violations I see where the violator is also yammering on their damn phone. I absolutely cannot wait until July. Make no mistake, folks, I’m looking for you. As a matter of fact, I have a bet with a friend of mine about who can cite more cellphone violations on July 1. It’s gonna be a good day!!

Now, guess what I hear on the news this morning. There is a bill currently going through the state senate, after passing successfully through the assembly to ban driver’s from having their pets on their laps whilst they’re driving! Oh sweet tap dancing Christ on a crutch….it makes me weep with joy.

The Holy Grail: citing someone for speeding while on their cell phone, not wearing their seatbelt with Fifi on their lap. I might just fall over from overwhelming excitement.

I’ve heard tell from my brethren of a fellow officer that has cited someone for speed because they had a dog on their lap. Follow along….CVC 22350 states that a vehicle shall not travel at a speed that is unsafe for conditions. You tell me….what speed is safe to travel with a yorkie on your lap? Notice the section says nothing about a speed limit. A speed limit, my uninitiated friends, is typically what the safe speed is, but it is not finite. The safe speed can change based on weather, traffic conditions, visibility, and/or roadway conditions. So, technically, the safe speed to drive at whilst Spot is on your lap, or you’re reading the paper, or putting on your makeup is….wait for it… The violator allegedly fought the ticket. The violator was found guilty. Justice is sweet. I have yet to have the required cajones to cite some like that. I generate enough complaints as it is.

You’ve been warned…

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

6 thoughts on “Trifecta!!!

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂

    And this entry had me laughing out loud! I cannot wait for the law to go into effect either. It's amazing how stupid people get when that phone hits their ear!

    – Renee

  2. We motorist are so happy that we can keep you so amused!

    I am glad I do not drive much in your "Town".

    I hear you need to update your profile. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!

  3. Happy Birthday dude! I hope the wife and kiddo have something amazing planned for you!

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