**This post is not directed to Lance Armstrong. I find him to be a stellar athlete and a wonderful human. Live Strong.***
Ok. I’m bound to piss some of you off with this one, but keep an open mind and hear me out…at least the overall point…
Listen, weekend cyclist guy/gal. I get the fact that you love your swell Trek or Specialized. I don’t necessarily understand the need to garb yourself in heinous colors that are too tight for most people to wear, but hey, different strokes. Here’s the thing, though…CVC 21200(a) states in part:
Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle.
What does that mean for you, Tour de France wannabe? That means when you see the fucking big red sign with the word “STOP” on it? Yeah, you have to stop. When you see that light box on the arm of that big ‘ol metal pole thingy and the top red colored light is blazing away? Yeah, you have to stop.
Look, I understand that cars don’t pay as much attention to you. I’m on a Motor, remember? We both have two wheels. That makes us cousins. Sorta. More like cousins twice removed. We could probably legally marry and have kids that wouldn’t have three arms and no nipples. I know it’s dangerous; however, let me throw this little factoid at you. In the three years I have been in the Traffic Unit, we’ve investigated a number of collisions involving bicycles. A rough estimate? More than 80% of the fault lies with the cyclist (and that’s a conservative estimate). Of those where the car is more at fault, the cyclist typically is an associated factor in the collision.
My point to all of this? If you wanna save yourself some drama (of the violation kind) or some trauma (of the visit to the ER kind), do both of us a favor and don’t ride like an A-hole, okay? This means you, pack of 50 neon-clad dorks taking up an entire lane of traffic. Guess what? You don’t have the right to do that. Much as you like to think you do, you do not. Hey, if all 50 of you can stack up laterally in a bike lane, knock yourselves out; however, if you can’t, you’re required to ride single file and as close to the right roadway edge as you can.
Believe it or not, the rules of the road are set up to protect you. If not from idiot motorists, then from yourselves. I’m all for engaging in some healthy exercise (regardless of the silly looking padded ass pants, Melinda) (There is no Melinda. I was channeling Dr. Cox from Scrubs.) (I apologize to any and all Melindas reading this. I in no way meant to offend you.))), but what say you do it safely, huh?
Now get on out there and ride your 100 miles. I’ll beat you there. ‘Cause I’m on a motorcycle. And I look wwwwaaaayyyy cooler than you. Melinda (refer to above commentary).