MC’s take…get it? Pun totally intended, so don’t freak out.
Let’s address some of the concerns in your comments. First, the no identification concern. He did have his school ID and it matched his picture. The last name on the registration matched the last name on the school ID. I was comfortable that he was who he said he was. I do, however, have a couple of options for this scenario. The easiest is to run his driver’s license using his name and date of birth. I then ask dispatch for the physical descriptors listed on the license. In this case, they matched nicely to the individual driving the car.
The other option is to get a thumb print and add it to the rear of the citation. I typically only do that when a driver has never had a license or is not legally in the country (don’t get me started…it’s an issue I sure as hell ain’t gonna solve at my level).
Sufficed to say, I had every confidence the kid wasn’t Jimmy Hoffa.
Second, there’s the issue of his Dad’s wallet. I’m operating under the assumption that Dad had a spare and gave it Junior as a loner. Accurate? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.
Lastly, I’d like to take the opportunity to say you all make me look like a pussycat. “Bust his taillight”?!? “Arrest him for bribery and theft”?!? I may like where your heads are at, but there’s a little thing called due process and something I once read about civil rights and some silly amendments some old guys wrote out that most folks get their panties in a wad over.
Here’s how it played out:
MC (sternly but not loudly): Get out of the car.
SLP (smirking a little less): Huh?
MC: Get. Out. Of. The. Car. Now.
SLP (thinking perhaps his attempt at humor was ill-conceived): Uh, okay.
MC (noticing the belt-less state of his jeans): Pull up your pants and get over here.
SLP hitches up his britches.
MC: What is wrong with you? I know you’re trying to be a fuc…
*Now I know I’m getting pissed off because I almost let fly the mother of all bad words knowing I’m recording myself, so I rein it back real quick like only to be met with…
SLP: I’m not trying to be a fucking smartass. (Little bastard stole my misguided thunder)
MC: I get it. You’re trying to be the tough guy in front of your little girlfriend and your buddy. I’ve got friends. I know what it’s like.
SLP: I just don’t think I was doing 48. (Said with the subtext of “This is a chickenshit ticket”)
MC: I don’t care what you think about it. Our business is done insofar as that goes. You want to talk about the other thing?
SLP (blank stare).
MC: You want to push me on it? Because I will take your happy little ass to jail. Do you get me?
SLP: You’re an officer, sir. I don’t want to push you. (Said practically dripping entitlement)
MC: Oh man, you have no idea how close you are to getting arrested. If I ever see you pulling this kind of crap again, you’re done. Do you understand me?
SLP: Well sir, I hope we don’t…
MC: Get out of here now.
SLP (doesn’t move).
MC: NOW. I swear if you don’t move and drive away right now, I’ll change my mind and you’re going to jail.
SLP slunk off to his car. I’m sure he tried to save face with his friends, but it doesn’t much matter to me. I know what he drives. I know what he looks like. I contacted the school resource officer at his school to get the skinny on the kid. I wasn’t shocked to find the attitude was not unusual.
Mom sure wasn’t happy when I called her and gave her a heads up on his antics. Kind of a risky play, that. SLP learned his attitude from somewhere. She seemed receptive, though. Now I just have to hope Dad isn’t SLP Sr.
I believe Kardiac Kid mentioned PC 67 in his comment (Well done, sir/madam…not exactly a gender specific name). That particular section covers bribing an executive officer. As police officers, we are often encouraged to handle things at the lowest level possible. What that means is this: Could I have arrested the kid for a felony? Sure. Is that necessarily the best solution to this problem? I don’t think so. Would the D.A. file it? Sure…right into the round, metal cylinder next to the desk.
The best solution in my mind was just what I did. I gave him a dressing down on the side of the road. Maybe I embarrassed him a little in front of his friends. I called his Mom. I guarantee you if Mom and Dad are of the same mind, there retribution will far exceed anything I or the justice system could unload on him. Back me up here, parents!
This is the kind of discretion that drives poor Happy crazy. Sorry, brother, I gotta rub it in when I can. And let’s not forget that I know where SLP lives, goes to school, and the car he drives. If you don’t think I’ll be keeping an eye out for any of his shenanigans, you either don’t know me at all or haven’t been reading this blog for very long.