I’m often asked what the funniest/weirdest/dumbest excuse is offered to me when I’m conducting a traffic stop. This one ranks right up there in the funny column.
MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Farmer Jed (you should be able to figure out why by the end of this story): It might be because I wasn’t wearing my seat belt.
MC: Yeah. It’s not the end of the world, though.
Farmer Jed: You mind if I explain why?
MC (always looking for my fodder): Knock yourself out.
Farmer Jed: See, I just left the gym and I’m on my way to work. I realized about halfway there that my, uh, zipper wasn’t up.
MC: I notice you’re wearing a zippered sweatshirt. Would that be the zipper to which you were referring?
Farmer Jed: No, sir.
MC: Jed, we talking ’bout the barn door here?
Farmer Jed (with not a little bit of embarrassment): That’d be the one. I took my seat belt off briefly to, well, zip up. I didn’t want to show up at work with my zipper down.
MC: Jed, I gotta tell you. No pun intended, but you’ve gotta have stones to admit that to a cop. Do me a favor and next time, just pull over to handle that particular predicament, alright?
Farmer Jed (with a smile): You got it.
So, there you go. I gotta give Jed credit…that’s a fairly embarrassing thing to bring up, but he did. And, he got me to laugh on top of it. A double whammy, indeed.
Well played, Jed. Well played.