Today, we’re going to shatter some misconceptions…and destroy a pet peeve. The topic of this post has been misunderstood for years by the media, the population at large, popular culture, and certainly by your drunk Uncle Steve. (Right now some of you are thinking of your friend’s Uncle and wondering if his name is Steve. I’ll never tell.)
Let’s talk about where you go when you get caught by the Po-leece.
Here’s the picture. You and your new “lady-friend” go to the local Lover’s Lane to get more acquainted. What you, in your horny all-the-blood-has-left-your-northern-dome kind of way have forgotten is that we, the police, are well aware of Lover’s Lane and patrol it frequently.
Your “lady-friend” (a real nice guy named Brandon) is also well-known by the police. Ol’ Brando doesn’t care if he/she gets arrested as he/she is what we affectionately refer to as a “frequent flyer”. You, on the other hand, have a wife, a job, and real-life responsibility. Unfortunately, you did a little too much blow and your brain ain’t processing risk vs. reward the way it should be.
So. There you are about to became intimately familiar with Brandon’s biology when a spotlight puts in stark relief what a dumbass you are. To add insult to injury, when the police arrest you for soliciting, they naturally search your person. Guess who forgot about that last vial of narcotics? You did, you gloriously coked up horndog, you.
What started out as a simple cite and release scenario has now entered the fun-filled world of incarceration. Where do you go from here? The hoosegow? Lockup? Jail? The clink? The slammer? The pen? The pokey?
This is where there is a lot of confusion. Believe me when I tell you that the Wife is a saint because I am always critical of every cop show we watch and I am hyper-critical of the media. These terms are thrown around like they are meaningless, but I assure you there is a distinction.
Let me make this perfectly clear. While there are a number of synonyms for being incarcerated, they often mean very different things. Jail is where you go when you get booked for a crime. Prison is where you go when you get convicted of that crime.
“Pen” is short for Penitentiary; a gentle euphemism for prison. Most other cutesy nicknames like “Slammer”, “Hoosegow”, and “Pokey” are more in line with a jail setting.
There you go, Hollywood. Although you didn’t pay me for my consulting, a real life police officer just made your show more legit. Too bad HM just whines about the crappy EMS shows. I’m over here making a real difference.
Oh…and stop doing blow and picking up drag queens.
What about you? Is there something society at large often misconstrues or just straight screws up about your job?
Featured Image Credit: Flickr and gloomy50