After all the years I’ve spent
sitting at duck ponds stopping violators of the vehicle code, I found a new locale that has brought me great joy over the past week or so. It was whilst I was poised ready to inflict truth and justice upon the citizenry that I had occasion to see a texter drive by me.
I stopped this teenager for texting and driving. Before you get all “Damn you, pesky kids” on me, I’ve mentioned before that violators run the gamut. It just so happens this particular violator was a teenager.
For the purposes of this re-enactment, when you read the part of the violator, I would request that you hear a Valley Girl accent. (For those of you that aren’t aware, Valley Girl was a shitty movie from 1983 starring one Nick Cage and the female lead played by Deborah Foreman.)
Who? Exactly. Trust me, it’s an egregious movie that should never have seen the light of day. At any rate, there was this craze from the 80’s where everyone talked like they were in this movie. We should all suffer for having participated.
Gag me with a spoon…but I digress. Back to our saga.
Valley Girl: Like, totally not!
MC: You were texting while you were driving.
VG: Oh my god, I’m, like, totally going to freak!
MC: Yeah. It’d be great if you didn’t. Just grab your license, registration and insurance for me.
MC: Okay, I just need your signature.
VG: Like, do you really have to, like, give me a ticket or whatever?
MC: No. I don’t have to. I get to.
VG (derisively): This is totally inconvenient.
MC: So is killing someone while your texting and driving.
I’m not sure she, like, got it.
*As a bonus feature to this post, I am including a video sent to me by our good Aussie buddy, Nick. Nick often shows up for The Crossover Show in whacky chapeau gear. Yeah, I took French, so what? I am seriously considering making him my sidekick. It’s long overdue that I get a sidekick. Kooky head wear and an accent? Gold.
Anyway, as I was typing this post he sent me a link that couldn’t be more apropos if he lived inside my head. Which I’m not convinced isn’t, in fact, the case.
Please to enjoy:
Featured Image courtesy of Flickr and Lord Jim