Seriously? You couldn’t maybe look a little closer?

I just got back from a “welfare check”. Very rarely are they anything truly police related. This one was no different.

The detail came out as follows: RP advising a AMA (Asian male adult) is laying down in the front seat of a blk veh, unk plate, RP advising she just left her house and noticed him, wants PD to do a welfare check.

Medical was dispatched (to stage…why, I have no idea) in case dude was in need of medical care. There was an additional RP that gave a better description of the car. When I arrived on scene, I saw exactly what was reported. An AMA reclined back in the driver’s seat of his car. Napping.

I see what I assume was one of the RPs about 30′ behind the vehicle clutching her ‘dog’ or what passes for one these days in Town. I pulled up parallel to the car, rolled down my window and knocked on the car’s window. Dude sits up, smiles, and rolls down his window. “Hey, you okay, sir?” I ask. “Yes, Officer. Just waiting for a friend.” “Okey doke. Have a nice day.” Then I pulled out and drove away.

My point to all this? Get out a pen and/or pencil and something to write on…I’ll wait. Ready? Here it is…


If you’re so blessed concerned about the welfare of a fellow human, instead of waiting the ten minutes or so it takes to call 911, explain to Dispatch what’s going on, Dispatch to enter the detail and notify patrol and for patrol to actually get there from what is most likely the other fucking side of town, why don’t you just walk over and say, “Ya okay?”

If, by some astronomically ridiculous chance, the driver actually needs medical aid and you have no experience, at least you’ll be able to properly advise the proper agency, be it police or fire, of what the problem is.

In this world of cordless and cellular phones, there is nothing stopping you from calling it in and simultaneously walking over to the car. Short of obvious blood/brain matter on the window, odds are the mother fucker is catching a catnap. In five years of patrol I’ve never gone to a welfare check described as above that was anything remotely legit.

And here’s the second half of people ignoring the obvious…

I got dispatched this morning to a suspicious circumstance. The detail was as follows:

**1st house on the right on ABC St from 123 Ave, there is a white van with a latter (not a typo, by the by) on top ifo the house. The house door is open. There is a history of break ins in the area.**

Now, I’m all for neighbors keeping an eye on each other’s property and such. When I arrived there was a man in coveralls holding a paintbrush on the porch. There was a sign on the door. It read “Wet Paint”. Should I call in SWAT and CSI to solve this caper? Or do you just maybe think the guy was PAINTING THE DAMN DOOR?

Again, I’ve got no issue with neighbors being vigilant. However, before you go tooling by in your ’09 Mercedes SL500 at 30 MPH and glance out of your periphal vision and see what, in your mind, is the crime of the century in progress, why don’t you slow your roll a bit and take a second look and save us all a bit of time, okay?

And before some of you start whining about “that’s what we pay you for”, chew on this. While I’m enroute to details like these, along with a cover car usually, there are any number of legit crimes occurring elsewhere. Depending on the type of call, I may be driving Code 3 and faster than everyone else on the road. I am risking your life and mine. For what? Quite often, for nothing at all.

So, speaking for my fellow brothers and sisters (and I feel I can mostly because I can cause it’s my blog), do us all a favor and before you go off the deep end and assume the worst, take a second. Think. Look again. Often the simplest, most obvious solution is the answer to your issues. We thank you…

And as far my ‘closing codes’ (how we finalize the outcome of a detail)? The ‘welfare check’…STC (service to citizen) woke the sleeping gentlemen. The ‘suspicious circumstance’…unfounded. obvious painter. obviously painting.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

4 thoughts on “Seriously? You couldn’t maybe look a little closer?

  1. That kid is lucky he was Asian. If he was Hispanic or AA, the RP would have demanded a SWAT team, the FBI's HRT, and a few Apache gunships just to be safe.

  2. No . . . of course they can't have common sense. Just like the HappyMedic and his possible building fire. Or the twenty five calls we get the first cold snap for "chimmney fires" or "smoke showing." Know what those are? Wood burning stoves. . . Ugh. I hate stupid people.

  3. Control this is 99, we're back in service, one nap ruined.

    or even better…

    99 this is control, reporting party is now in another city but drove by an hour ago and advised a man is lying in the middle of the street.

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