Revenue Generator

I’d like to think by now I’ve made it more than clear I dig on writing tickets. It never ceases to amaze me, however, how often I hear the “end of the month” argument. It goes something like this. I stop someone for doing something they shouldn’t. I contact the driver, get their info, go back to the bike and write the cite. Then, I walk back up to the driver and ask them to sign. Commence time-honored, albeit ridiculous, argument:

MC: Okay, I just need you to sign the highlighted yellow portion (where it says signature)
Driver: Are you serious?
MC (resisting the urge to sarcastically say, “No, I’m just messing with you”): You’re not admitting any guilt by signing, it’s just a promise to appear.
Driver: Must be the end of the month, huh? Gotta fill that quota. (OR) Gotta generate some revenue, eh?

This is what I’d like to say…”Listen, asswipe. I don’t give a good goddamn about making a quota (follow above link for a discussion on that) or making any money. How’s about you take some responsibility for the stupid shit you just pulled. Believe it or not, jackhole, I’m out here to protect you from yourself. I’m here to make sure you don’t cause a collision or hurt anybody else. So do us both a favor and sign the fuckin’ ticket and get the hell outta my Town.

Folks, let me take yet another opportunity to repeat myself…I truly don’t care about the number of tickets I write. I set a goal for myself each month. Statistics don’t lie. The more tickets my partner and I write, the less collisions we tend to have.

When you apply to be a police officer, you go through a fairly rigorous application process. One of the steps is the Oral Board. They ask you a bunch of questions. One of them is the typical “Why do you want to be a police officer.” My answer was, “Because I want to help others.” There was a little more to it, of course, but the bottom line was just that. I still believe that. I actually do go to work every day with the desire to help other people. That is the basis for all the things I do at work.

I’ve got a beautiful little girl. Sometimes, she does some things she shouldn’t. My response? Discipline. If I don’t point out the thing she did and explain to her why it was inappropriate and she doesn’t have any consequences, she won’t grow up to be a responsible adult. The correlation between her and the people I stop every day is obvious. It’s the same logic, but with a heavier emphasis on the consequences.

Some drivers are just too dense to get it and will continue to violate the law. No worries, I’ll stop them again and cite them again. And again. And again. Understand that I have no problem citing the same driver repeatedly. My favorite argument is, “I just got a ticket for this.” Like that’s supposed to be some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card. Uh, guess what? The ticket isn’t some kind of talisman that prevents you from getting cited for that particular violation for a predetermined amount of time, my friend.

I know the State, County, Town, insert f’d up governmental body here, is in dire straits financially. My job is not to put revenue in their coffers. I don’t give a professional shit about how Arnold has completely screwed the State. Nor do I care how the Town/City/County government is constantly giving themselves raises, but punishing the rest of us (at least not in the professional sense…on the personal tip it really creases me, but that’s not the point of the blog). My function is not to meet budget shortfalls or to repair short-sighted fools with too much power and too little sense.

My job is to help create and maintain safe roadways for you and your family. That’s it. I take my job very seriously. Sure, I have a good time and I’m a smartass and I occasionally laugh at other’s expense. All of that doesn’t mean the purity of purpose behind my antics is any less clear.

You have officially been warned (again). If you do something illegal in front of me, I will stop you. I will cite you. You will suffer the consequences. Oh, and you may end up the subject of a sarcastically written blog post. It’s part of the consequences…

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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9 thoughts on “Revenue Generator

  1. Five more and I get a toaster…

    The reality is that the agency/city gets very little of the monies generated from a moving citation. If it was all about revenue, we would strictly be working commercial enforcement looking for weight violations or writing muni code violations with code enforcement.

  2. You'd think that even if they believed you were filling a quota, they wouldn't say it to your face! Can you tack on an extra violation for gross stupidity? 😉

  3. Arnold is not blameless in our state's financial mess, but he's certainly not the only one with unclean hands. This mess was twenty years in the making.

  4. Bus Driver,

    It looked like you sent your comment before you were done writing it. It looked like you got cut off. Try again!

  5. "I don't have a quota, I can write as many damn tickets as I want! Press hard, four copiees." I too love writing tickets. Keeping the streets safe for all the people, the majority who are operating a motor vehicle while thinking about anything other than driving, is not a job taken lightly. People are amazed when I write them a ticket for cell phone operation. I get the argument, well what about the ones who are reading while driving, or applying make up. I explain that the National Literacy Foundation and various women's groups have very large lobbies, and have as yet not allowed those issues to be codified as violations. Rest assured, they generally commit other violations while engaged in said activities and do receive their due in time as well.

    It also amazes me the number of officers who don't write tickets, claiming that they have no intention of supporting the agency with extra revenue (this issue was previously discussed, we don't get it) or if the brass wanted them to write tickets they would be in Traffic. Those are the same bone heads that don't train unless the department sends them, and then dont put effort into it. I believe the good book says in Ecclesiacties 9:10, "Everything your hand finds to do, do with all your might." – Officer

  6. One thing you forgot to mention in your rant, MC…

    Our agencies get VERY LITTLE of the money brought in by the fines.

    People think the whole $211 speeding fine goes to the municipality responsible for issuing the citation. In reality, we only get a small part of the $35 base fine. About $5.25 worth actually.

    All the rest goes to the court, the county, the court, the state and the court. What with the court construction fee, the court reconstruction fee, the court rebuilding fee, the court renovation fee, etc. the court gets the lion's share.

    Funny how you never hear the defendant using the revenue line on the commissioner when they're found guilty.

    Go figure…

  7. "Smith",

    You are absolutely correct and I apologize for leaving that out. I'm sure another moron will set me off and I'll rant about it again.

    Next time, I'll include that very little known, but oh so important, fact!

  8. MotorCop said: "I'm sure another moron will set me off and I'll rant about it again."

    Is Woycechowsky visiting your blog? I guaranty you'll be ranting. 😉

    BTW, my word is "copped". lol