A couple weeks ago, I worked our local High School’s graduation. During what was mostly a completely smooth and uneventful few hours, I had occasion to experience the following:
Oblivious Parent: Excuse me.
MC: Hi. What can I do for you?
OP: I seem to have lost my son.
MC: How long has he been missing?
OP: I saw him about 30 minutes ago playing with some other children over here (points to general vicinity)
MC: Ok. What’s his name?
OP: Unfortunately Mine (not his real name).
MC: Ok. How old is he?
MC: Ok. What’s he wearing?
**You get the picture, right? She provides all the description I need. I contact Dispatch to make sure all the other units copy and we can start looking for the kid. Here’s why this ended up on my blog…**
MC: Ok, Ma’am. We’ll start looking for him.
OP: Alright, well, I’m just gonna go back to my seat.
Huh? Back to your seat? Now, I know what you’re thinking. OP wanted to return there in case her wayward child returned. Yeah, I’d have thought so, too. Turns out, we’re both wrong. Her brother was walking around looking for the kid and she just wanted to get back to her seat and sit down. She was totally nonchalant about the whole thing and seemed completely non-plussed. Crazy.
If the Kid were missing? Forget it. I’d be like a fucking hummingbird zipping all over the place. And, I’d be recruiting others to join in the hunt. May very well have jumped on stage mid-graduation, grabbed the mic from Principal Boring Guy and made a little announcement. This chick? Nope. Gonna go back and sit down.
Gee, I wonder why the world is hurtling toward Hades. On rocket skates. With no helmet. And flaming hair.