Today started like any other day…lineup was too long, 2nd lineup (aka Starbucks) wasn’t long enough, I had seven cites by 1000. Excellent. Right up until that last cite…Please to enjoy.
I stopped a woman for not having her seatbelt on and yapping on her cell phone (not verbatim of the Vehicle Code, but you get the point). She stopped in a parking lot and I pulled up behind her, about 10′ actually, and stopped. Just like almost every other blessed stop I conduct.
I contact the driver and tell her why I stopped her. I told her I’d just cite her for one violation and save her a little money. Cause I’m a nice guy. Seriously…salt of the Earth. So, I go back to the bike and get my cite book out. I’m about half way through writing the cite when I see a large red vehicle getting closer to me. Did I forget to mention the car I stopped was red? Shame on me. It was red. And it was getting closer. I slid to my right a bit, just as the car hit the front fender on my bike and pushed the right saddlebag into my leg (not really worth mentioning, cause I wasn’t hurt at all, but hey I gotta play up any potential sympathy, right?). The bike stayed on the kickstand and the only damage was to the fender. Her car had a bit of white paint transfer on the rear bumper.
My reaction is as follows…(not for the feint of heart)…
“GODDAMMIT!!! Move your car forward. SHIT!!!” The driver got out and I may or may not have said something to the effect of “Are you kidding me?” Followed by, “Get back in your car. I’m way to mad to talk to you right now.” I’m gonna go ahead and guess the mother of all bad words was in there somewhere…I mean, it is me we’re talking about here.
I got on the air and asked for my Sergeant and the city to our South’s motor to respond for the report (agencies don’t take their own crashes for what I hope is an obvious reason). Apparently, I sounded less than pleased based on the feedback from my co-workers later in the day.
Now I have to take the bike in to the dealer and get a new fender and I’m stuck in a fucking car until who knows when. ARGH! By now, I would hope you all know that I did indeed give her the cell phone cite at the end of all this bullshit.
Two interesting caveats…One: When dumbass hit my bike, and I walked up to yell at her, she was on the phone. SERIOUSLY! What a fucking moron. She can’t even park and fucking talk, let alone drive and talk. AAWWWWW! (Can you tell I’m getting angrier re-living this for you, my lovely friends?) I asked her what happened and she said (I swear), “I had it in drive and took my foot off the brake” Now, I’m no Mr. Goodwrench, but I’m pretty sure if the car was in drive it goes FORWARD!. I said something along those lines to her, to which she replied, “I must have had in park and took my foot off the brake. Again, no degree from WyoTech, but pretty sure if it’s in park it will go NOWHERE!!” What a complete dipshit. Two: My Sarge is there and so is the motor taking the report. This chick has the audacity to say (and mean it), “Well at least we know not to park a motorcycle so close to another car.”
I turned to my Sarge and said, “I will sign the phase (disciplinary action). Please God, please, let me say something to this fucking idiot.” Alas, no. Grrrrrrr…..I can’t believe this ignorant woman tried to blame me for the collision. I wasn’t even on the bloody motorcycle to begin with!
Anyhoo….that was my day. How was yours?
Gotta get some rest, cause there’s gonna be swift retribution tomorrow…