Nobody likes a Snitch.

Although the title is accurate, I’m gonna go ahead and tell on myself.

When I was a brand new Motor, I stopped a random guy for a random violation. Who he was and what he did are not pertinent to the story. I am always bitching about the idiocy I face on a daily basis. On this particular day, I was the idiot.

Take a minute to recover. It’s okay. I found it surprising, too.

Fast forward to the end of the stop. The driver was a very nice guy, but I still cited him. Not terribly surprising. He was so nice, in fact, that as he parked in front of his buddy’s house and got out, he turned back and waved to me. In the middle of my U-turn. Which caused me to wave back. In the middle of my U-turn.

As the left side of the bike ever so gently came to rest on the pavement, I thought to myself, “Now just what in the fuck are you doing, dumbass? You’d think with all your riding experience, you’d realize that maybe taking your hand off the fucking handlebar mid U-turn isn’t the grandest of plans.” True as that may be, it didn’t stop me. I mean, the nice man waved to me. It’d be rude to ignore it, right? Yeah! Didn’t stop the bike from hitting the pavement, but what was I to do?

Anyway, the nice man came running over to help me lift the bike back up. Of course, he asked me if I was okay. I’m sure I was about 15 different shades of embarrassed, but I told him I was just fine. I also asked him to get his copy of the ticket for me. He looked at me quizzically and handed it to me. At which point I ripped that bitch up into tiny, tiny, little shreds and thanked him for helping me. We also swore a blood oath never to speak of it again.

Until now, apparently. Now I have to excuse myself and research what the hell a blood oath is and how deep in shit I now am. You’ll pardon me…

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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12 thoughts on “Nobody likes a Snitch.

  1. It would seem the blood oath only really protected him. He beat the rap, so to speak. No harm would come to him by your admitting what happened.

  2. Thats your best yet! I must tell you that showed great integrity on your part to destroy that cite. Alot nowadays wouldn't. I have a question? How did you explain that to your Watch Commander? Any tickets we want to void out we must have a supervisors approval.

  3. I'll take it you found a friendly supervisor to void that cite. Hopefully it didn't make it's way to your brother and sister officers. Even though it's not serious in nature. The level of humor to follow would be no joke! Take care!

  4. In my department, we have ultimate discretion on what we do with cites. We're not like CHP where you have to account for each and every cite.

    Neither the Watch Commander nor a Sgt. is required to be privy to each little decision I make in the field. It frees me up quite a bit not to have to answer for/justify any and all actions we feel necessary.

    Every situation is different.

  5. Your "blood oath" is, unfortunately, a legally binding oral contract. You both gave up a right, i.e. the right to speak of this idiotic display, and you both received a benefit, in his case, no one would know he did something to earn a ticket, and in your case, no one would know what a complete idiot you made of yourself.

    In order to proceed, however, your victim would have to prove damages. Since you didn't name him, its unlikely that he could meet that burden. Even if you did name him, the embarrassment to him would be de minimis, so a court might grant him nominal damages of $1.

    So congratulations! You have no real liability.

    BTW, your posting of this matter constitutes an open offer which I have accepted and fully performed by writing this post. I will therefore send you a bill at your last known address. It will include research and drafting costs, as well as a minimum retainer of $5,000. I can work out an extended payment plan, if you like. I can also simply attach your wages. Your choice.

  6. Last year I rode my bike in to work and was polishing it up for a show the next day (between calls, gotta love being reactive). Stupid me has the forks straight so I can shine the front tire. I sttod up to get circulation back into my legs and just barely tapped the handlebar. It was enough to make the forks slam to lock, which rocked the bike forward and off the kickstand thanks to the polished concrete floor.

    I had one hand on the grip, one on the seat, and the majority of the weight of the bike leaning against my leg. One of the idiots I worked with looked at me funny and kept walking until about the 3rd time I told him to drag his butt over and help me.

    Thank goodness the front crash bar (engine guards, whatever) and leather bags caught the bike. I would've cried like a baby if there was any damage.

  7. Posting that comment did get it out of my system, thanks. I thought you might not post the comment anyway so I don't feel offended.

    You didn't mention the moron's hypocrisy though. He claims to be some big advocate for free speech but censors all pro-police comments on his blog. What a tool.

  8. Freakin' hilarious story MC! Nice move on tearing up the cite, however I would have loved to hear the defendant give the details in court to Judge G.

    Love the blog

  9. Thank God for cell phones… I was cleaning my bike, knocked it off of the kickstand and it fell towards my buddy's bike. I caught it before it hit his, but could not get it back upright ( I was on the wrong side), but was able to dig out my phone and call for an assist. Whew….no damage to either bike!