My friends at Fire nearly killed me.

Early one morning, I and my band of merry misfits were sitting around the Lineup room having our usual briefing. That is to say, we were probably talking a bunch of shit about each other and cracking each other up.

Then, the ominous Radio voice dispatched us to an accident involving 10 cyclists with bodies strewn about and Fire en route. Shit. Not the way to start the day. Of course, we all respond appropriately and immediately drop everything we were doing and run out the door to our various conveyances.
The scene was about 2-3 miles from the PD. We all arrived about the same time as Fire. The location is a major thoroughfare and a residential side street. Ahead of me (by a few hundred feet), I saw an ambulance come off the side street and make a right onto the major street. That happened to be the very same direction I was riding.
About 600 to 700 feet ahead, on the left, there is another residential side street. I am eastbound in the #1 lane. The ambulance is also eastbound, but in the #2 lane. They are rolling code. I don’t recall specifically, but once I went 97 (on scene) and there was no other traffic in the area, I think I cut my lights. The only other traffic were cop cars.
The ambulance driver decided to check out the aforementioned side street ahead on the left. I am pulling up just alongside them. That was about the time the ambulance driver, without signalling, made a lane change to the #1 lane…you know, the lane I was already in, and continued to change lanes to the left turn pocket. This resulted in him pinning me and my little motorcycle between his rapidly approaching and conversely large ambulance and the center median lined with trees that are much denser than the bones in my body. I ended up with a rapidly diminishing distance of about two feet on either side of me.
What to do, what to do. I mean after I more than likely yelled something inappropriate and shit myself, of course.
I opted for go faster. I felt that hitting the brakes left my fate up to the ambulance and probably would have result in getting tagged by the tail end of the beast. Not being one to leave control up to others, I downshifted and shot ahead, clearing the impending scene of the end of my all-too-short life.
I had to give the obligatory “What The Fuck?!?” pose. This, to the uninitiated, is the arms held up at about a 30 degree angle with the shoulders slightly raised. Although the ambulance couldn’t see it, I had the face to match. Wasted, really, but I’m nothing if not dedicated to my WTF craft.
It was just one of those things, you know? I didn’t go hunt the guy down after all was said and done and yell and carry on. He didn’t find me and get in my face and ask me what the hell is wrong with me. I like to think we both just figured, “No autopsy, no foul.” We still hadn’t found the accident and had bigger fish to fry.
In the future, I’d hope he’d throw a signal on before moving that big ‘ol bitch around willy-nilly and I hope to remember to leave my emergency lights on.
I did get one hell of an adrenaline rush out of it, though, I assure you. Oh…and the accident? Never found it. Our best guess is someone called in when they saw a gaggle of cyclists on the side of the road and one of them was changing a tire. Perhaps the others were sitting on the ground to await their cycling buddy to finish his job.
Sure was nice of the anonymous caller to stop and render aid, if not to simply ask, “Hey, is everyone okay?” Would have avoided the whole blessed ordeal of my near death. Thanks, jerk off.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

12 thoughts on “My friends at Fire nearly killed me.

  1. No Brake, Accelerate is a good motto to have on a bike, it got me out of more then one WTF's…..

  2. While I personally would try to reign in even under-the-breath colorful phrases (only because in my experience they have a way of escaping at unwanted times if practiced too often), I do think that your self-restraint in not going toe to toe with Mr. Ambulance Driver is commendable.

    Avoiding the personal conflict after the near-death experience and concentrating on the public safety issue at hand was the professional approach.

    Sorry to hear about the most important part of lineup being interrupted.

    As far as Mr. or Ms. Anonymous caller not stopping to see if everyone is ok goes… seems to me that fits in with the prevalence you have previously expressed of so many folks not wanting to take even a little personal responsibility.

    It permeates every facet of our society.

  3. I will have a chat with my "people" about this. Turn signals are always necessary, red lights flashing or not. They should know that. Good to hear our friend MC has his wits about him at all times.
    And I've seen a bike like yours with those new fancy multi-directional LED monstrosities, I say let them flash.

    Word verification popoicide

  4. There's an old motorcop saying–"There's nothing that a good handful of throttle won't cure"

  5. If its a vehicular accident let the ambulance get there first and stay out of their way. It's their thing primarily.

    Also, when you roll code: lights AND SIRENS. Every time.

  6. As far as balancing a budget goes, we in California have a ballot initiative system in which the people routinely: a. Pass initiatives mandating huge government programs that the legislature is obligated to fund; b. pass anti-tax and anti-fee initiatives that ensure the state will never have sufficient funds to pay for the a. initiatives. So yes, our elected reps in Sacramento do indeed have their heads up their backsides, but things also won't get better until we reform our failed ballot initiative system.

  7. Wait…passing another vehicle that is going code on the left while you are not going code….sorry bro you asked for it. Really glad you're okay, you must have some kickass riding skills!

  8. I think bike cops are the only ones that understand that sometimes you've got to twist the throttle. You know that typically wouldn't fly for a normal motorcyclist though. 😉

  9. Being a bike rider (let alone a bike cop) in CA, you should know how to read the 'body language' of a car that's about to make an un-signaled lane change into your lane.

    I had quite a few incidents where I made the decision to punch the loud pedal in order to escape from the 'vise.' Then again, I was paying attention to the road in front of me – in no small part due to driving ~80mph+


  10. Good to hear you came out of that one okay.

    Last time I saw anything similar was when my partner in blue tried to pin a suspect on foot between the open driver's door of the squad car and a dumpster.

    Then my partner jumped out of the car before putting it in park – you should have seen the look on the suspect's face as his little tiny area of space quickly got a lot smaller as the door and dumpster came together. He didn't have the WTF move down though, as he was pushing mightyly on the door to keep from getting squished.

    Kudos on the good read – I'll be back…after I wipe the tears of laughter from my cheeks.

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