Messin’ with Dispatch

In previous posts, I have stated something along the lines of you never want to piss off Dispatch. If I haven’t, I meant to, so I’ll go ahead and correct the error. I have, however, said how important they are to what I and those of my ilk do every day.

That’s not to say we don’t like to have fun with them every now and again. Such was the case about an hour ago. First, a brief example of your typical traffic stop…

MC: (Identifying myself)
Dispatch: MC, go ahead
MC: 11-95 (traffic stop) on 6ABC123, Main St. and 1st Ave.
Dispatch: MC, 11-95 on 6ABC123, Main and 1st.
MC: Code 4 (all is well) and 29 (wants/warrant/CDL check).
Dispatch: MC, go ahead
MC: Smith, common spelling, first of John, also common. DOB 1/1/85, white male.
Dispatch: copy…MC, your subject, Smith is 26 (no wants/warrants) and valid.
MC: Copy, thank you…I’ll be 10-8 (in service), Cite 10 (ticket issued for moving violation)

If the name isn’t common, we’ll spell it out phonetically. For example, Smith would be Sam, Mary, Ida, Tom, Henry. You get the point. Earlier today I stopped a car and the driver had a last name that was too good to pass up. Every now and then, I like to try to get Dispatchers to laugh. It’s just plain fun. My rule for this blog is to keep things as anonymous as possible, so I’ll have to use something similar to the actual name. We’ll go with the last name of Suitable-Enough.

MC: (after already doing the 11-95) Code 4, 29 please.
Dispatch: MC, Code 4, go ahead with your 29.
MC: Last of Suitable-Enough, as in “Is his excuse for speeding suitable enough?” first of John, DOB 1/1/85, white male.
Dispatch: (barely containing laughter and after a noticeable pause) Copy, MC. He’s 26 and valid.
MC: Copy, thank you. (wrote ticket)
MC: (identified myself)
Dispatch: MC, go ahead.
MC: Apparently, his excuse was not suitable enough. I’ll be Cite 10.
Dispatch: Sometimes, they just aren’t.

The beauty of it was that while I’m dealing with my stop, the dispatcher still has to continue dispatching other calls to other officers and she’s trying not to laugh the entire time. I think I made her smile. See? Smiles follow me wheresoever I go!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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4 thoughts on “Messin’ with Dispatch

  1. Many a name has been asked for over the air much to the amusement of everyone within earshot. Always a good time.

  2. That is too funny. I grew up in a Law Enforcement family and my Dad always had entertaining stories to tell about what they did to the Dispatchers. Also, my cousin is currently a Dispatcher and she cracks my butt up on a regular basis with stories about the officers in her job.

  3. Hahaha… Love it.. I love it when the officer runs a guy.. usually an asian name.. says 'first of phangsthang common spelling' I usually come back with 'and how is phangsthang spelling that today?'

    My officers must get a hoot over my dispatching – As I am usually laughing all the time!!
    -Dispatcher