Be happy that I attached a horse skull…I actually found a picture of a dead horse. Â No one needs to see that. Â Sometimes the interwebs scare the crap out of me. Â On the other hand, I can be a mite literal from time to time. Â So, the horse skull is apropos at least.
It has come to my attention that you, the driving public, are apparently indestructible if you are merely driving a short distance or from “just over there” to “just around the corner”. Â It seems that wearing a seat belt on a public street isn’t a requirement if the distance to be traveled is somewhere south of a mile.
I was not aware of that caveat in the vehicle code or the statistical analysis of the severely injured and/or dead people who weren’t wearing their seat belt. Â Seems they were all driving a great and mighty distance with nary a thought to their own safety.
It seems I owe the lot of you quite the apology. Â I was under the apparent misinformed impression that a collision could occur regardless of the time and/or distance for which you may be traveling. Â I was also misled to believe that wearing your seat belt under your arm was a stupid thing to do and could actually inflict more internal injuries should you be involved in a collision.
photo Â© 2010 Bruce McKay | more info (via: Wylio)Obviously, I didn’t take into consideration the magic bubble for which you paid good money at the dealer to have installed. Â I assume this is what they meant by that “undercarriage coating” they’re always pimping. Â I am so terribly sorry for my misguided rants about wearing a seat belt.
Certainly, had you been driving for a great distance, you would have dutifully donned your seat belt as required by law and common sense. Â You couldn’t possibly be so daft as to ignore the health implications by ignoring such an important bit of safety equipment if you were driving much further than from “just down the street”.
Honestly, I wish I had more than a pitiful “I’m sorry” to offer you. Â I don’t know what came over me ‘lo these many years. Â And to think about all those unnecessary citations I’ve given. Â How can I ever repay all those poor, abused citizens. Â What a heartless, heartless wretch I am.
I thought that if you were driving on a public street you had to follow the same rules of the road that I do. Â I mean I have all those pretty lights and the siren and the black/white car (on my beat days…let’s not get excited). Â If I am required to wear my seat belt, not only by law but by policy as well, I figured you must have to do the same. Â I didn’t take into account the very short distance you were driving. Â Ah, short distance, you great equalizer!