Marlin Perkins you are not.

So, you know how every it seems every few weeks the media fuels the paranoia that is (insert tacky B-movie duh duh ddduuuuhhhh music) Mountain Lions? Every so often, some reTard (go see The Hangover) calls and claims they’ve sighted a Mountain Lion. Thursday was no different.
My partner got dispatched to the following detail: PR reports a baby mountain lion is trying to get into her house.
Really? A baby mountain lion is trying to get into your residential neighborhood home? A baby mountain lion that is more than likely fucking terrified of people is pawing at your back door? I’m gonna go ahead and call Bullshit.
A year or so ago, I had a similar detail and it was right after a rather large “scare” (manufactured by the media and some other fools). The woman was adamant there was a mountain lion in her backyard. Adamant. Being on a Motor, I beat everyone there. I ran with the woman to her home’s rear slider and saw, well, I don’t want to spoil the ending…it was similar to what my partner found. Only he was lucky enough to snap a photo of it.
I’m no zoologist, folks. But, I’m pretty fucking sure I’d know the difference between a mountain lion and a goddamn fox. See below…

Thank you, Media, for continuing to provide fear, paranoia, and blog fodder. I doth owe you.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

8 thoughts on “Marlin Perkins you are not.

  1. This reminds me of the "The Great Killer Deer Scare of '05" (or whatever year it was. The residents of an Orinda neighborhood were being terrorized by a fucking deer. Even the Dept of Fish & Game spokesman was on TV trying not to laugh.

    We're unable to take care of ourselves anymore and it's pathetic. Sorry you have to deal with these dolts.

  2. If it had truly been a baby mountain lion, it isn't the cub you should be worrying about. It would be the momma that is surely close at hand, that you might want to think twice about. We live in the middle of nowhere, and we get visiting wildlife all the time. Guess it takes more than that to worry us.

  3. From the wet foot prints following behind I'd guess someone else was feeling the heat. 🙂

  4. I used to live in CA, and I vividly remember about 6 or 7"mountain lion" scares. Bunch of idiots…

  5. I worked in a rural mountain area as a deputy sheriff about 15 years ago in California. I actually responded to a call of a mountain lion. Guy had actually shot the thing in his wood shed. With a bow and arrow! And yes Virginia, IT WAS A FREAKIN HUGE MOUNTAIN LION! – Officer

  6. What a cute fox!! I can't believe that woman didn't know the difference between a fox and a baby mountain lion. *rolling eyes*

    I hear people bipping about mountain lions in "their" neighborhood and I think, "What was there first? The mountain lion or the McMansion?"

    Know the area you're moving into.

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