Look out, North Dakota, the South is on the rise!!!

For my last message to those fine folks in South Dakota, take a gander here. This post is not for them, although, I am proud of you all. You have warmed the cockles of my heart. Yes, the cockles.

Because of the recent surge in traffic, I decided to give good old google analytics a look. I must say, South Dakota, you have performed admirably. You have risen from a sad readership of 3 to a now threatening 28. Please peruse FU, penguin for the remainder of this post, South Dakotians
Okay, listen up, North Dakota. You’re at 32! 32? Yes, 30-f’n 2. Are you really going to take South Dakota’s blatant lack of respect for you like that? I thought the North was of much heartier stock! Didn’t you win the Civil War for crying out loud? (Don’t bother me with facts, people, I’m aware of the geography! I’m trying to make a grander point!)
Fargo, you are by far my strongest supporters. Although, I hated your movie, I support your right to weird accentery. You have struggled on in obvious domination of your state, but now it is time to move up! Assume some leadership, Fargo! There’s gotta be some towns within, what, 200 miles of you? Send them a carrier pigeon with the blog address attached! At your next hootenanny, tell your friends! Come on, Fargo, the North depends upon you! Are you going to let those bumpkins in Sioux Falls one-up you? Dammit, you won’t stand for it!
(Author’s Note: If you are in Sioux Falls and you’ve read thus far, in obvious defiance of my suggestion not to, well played. The North has much to fear from your wily skills)
I can’t honestly tell you why the North/South Dakota has captured my, nay the world’s, collective attention. All I know is South Dakota has shown some gumption. They went from dead last in the country to making Rhode Island and Delaware their bitch.
Shame on you New Englanders. Just shame. Don’t make me turn my sights on you!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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13 thoughts on “Look out, North Dakota, the South is on the rise!!!

  1. Although I live in Colorado, I was born in Minot, ND (Air Force brat.) Would that admission help my birth state?

  2. Don't Mess With Texas! ahhh a hootenanny. that's a word that just doesn't get enough air time anymore. ranks right up there with shindig only a little better. good stuff.

  3. Neither North Dakota nor South Dakota should get any attention at all til they figure out which one was the 39th state admitted and which was the 40th!

  4. I don't know why Slim Thug comes to mind…

    "I rep for my city…go hard for the 'hood…"

    Sorry. It's just a song that I run to. 😉

    Ha! I hated Fargo too.

    And what? No Pennsylvania???

  5. Anon 8:53…

    Not a blessed thing. But it makes me laugh.

    Be warned…occassionally, I wander far afield. Not often, but it happens.

  6. I read your blog this past weekend, and again today; congrats, you're one of the 5 people in the other 49 states who know where South Dakota is…as well as a city name within the state, and all spelled correctly! Now if you know (or have even heard) an Ole and Lena joke, I would consider you absolutely brilliant.

  7. anon-8:53. even cops need a break from cop stuff once in awhile.

    Motorcop- I found your blog and Officer Smith via that MSN article. Also have viewed many of the other "cop blogs". Thanks to all you guys and girls that wear the Badge. You have a new reader from the Bluegrass.

  8. First hootenanny, what's next- tomfoolery and shenanigans? Have we brought the argument back to ought-four? The only part I revel in is any state making Delaware its bitch.

  9. You should see how folks drive down here in the Dominican Republic.

    Please, if you ever decide to come for a visit, I wanna pick you up at the airport, OK?

    I want to see the expression on your face.