Let’s talk about timeliness

Let’s see how quick you are on the uptake. The following detail came out on 4/10/09:

“Info exchange re: HMA (hispanic male adult) early 20’s seen in the parking lot yesterday morning at about 1030 hrs…had a large knife stabbing a tree in the parking lot, while staring at the PR…subject associated with a tan vehicle.”

Immediate observations? If you said, “Ummm…how’s about that it occurred yesterday?” You are indeed correct. I also would have accepted “Info exchange? Some guy stares menacingly at you while stabbing a fucking tree and you just want to ask some questions about it?”

Listen, folks. I get the inherent disconcerting nature of having a stranger go all ninja on Arbor Day’s child while intently gawking at you. Really, I do; however, wouldn’t you be a tad more inclined to, oh I don’t know, call the Po-Po when it actually happened? Guess what. 24 hours later there are two things we can do to contact this cat: 1) Jack 2) Shit.

If you, my gentle readers, ever find yourself in a similar predicament. Cast your mind back to your perusal of this post and think to yourself, “I bet MC will think I am a gigantic, moronic douche if I call about this tomorrow.” You’ll thank yourself…and so will I.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

9 thoughts on “Let’s talk about timeliness

  1. Hahahaha.. I love #1 and #2!! Never ceases to amaze me all the job security we have these days!

  2. That is so true! People call all the time and after listening to the story (all the while coaxing them to speed the heck up with it) you ask, "how long ago did this happen?" So often it's yesterday or four hours ago or something similar. What in the heck do they expect us to do about it now??? grrrrr

  3. I love getting the calls…"There were some people hanging out in a car in front of my house, a couple weeks ago."

    I will now use.."Well there are 2 things we ca do for you…#1 & #2"!!!!

  4. "go all ninja on Arbor Day's child while intently gawking at you."

    Jeez, Hemingway, you need to chill out.

    "go all ninja" I like. Suitably demeaning. "Arbor Day's child"- oh, man. C'mon. Abuse the metaphor and stretch. "[F]uture lumber" is better. Less cute, still smartass. "[I]ntently gawking" reeks of thesaurus abuse. Please, brother- plain English with a twist- remember the insult. "[S]taring slackjawed." Says the perp is gross, doesn't make you sound like a douche.

    I'm here to help.

  5. I like it when people come in to file a counter report for a collision that occurred two weeks ago.

  6. Almost as bad as those who call in and say they were molested 25 years ago and their psychologist suggested that they report it…..

  7. DA…

    You don't like my metaphor?!? Well, you can just go and get your own deity castigating blog, then.

    How's that for thesaurus abuse? Hahahahahahaha.

  8. Personally, I'm rather certain I will conduct all future encounters with the Man with this question running through my head:

    "What would MC blog about this?"

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