Just move the car already.

The other day, I responded to a three car collision on Main St. It was just after dusk and the three cars were stopped in the #1 lane of Main St. just prior to the intersection with a shopping center. Apparently, the person that called dispatch said she refused to move her vehicle until the police arrived.

I got on scene and saw the aforementioned three cars stopped in the #1 southbound lane. None of their lights were on and all the involved parties were standing in between V-1 and V-2. I put on my emergency lights and got in behind them to let oncoming traffic know there was an obstruction ahead. I got out and saw the exasperated caller. Here’s how it went:
MC: Do all these cars run?
Chorus of involved parties: Yes.
MC: Good. Fire ’em up and move them out of the street and into the parking lot.
SIDL (Self-Induced Drama Lady): *SIGH*
MC: You’re blocking the roadway and causing a hazard. Move the cars.
All the cars were moved into an adjacent parking lot. The parties got out and continued exchanging their information. But not SIDL. Oh, no. She wanted to be a passive/aggressive condescending pain in the ass.
SIDL: In the past, my family has been falsely found at fault by Town PD after the cars were moved from the scene of an accident. No disrespect to you (*author’s note: this damn near always means there is some), but I refused to move until an officer could come and see the cars as they were.
MC: Well, ma’am, I don’t know what to tell you about your family’s past collisions, but I do know that what you were doing was not safe. It wasn’t safe for you, the other involved parties, or southbound traffic. Not to mention that the lot of you were standing in between two cars in the middle of a busy roadway during commute hours. So, you tell me, what’s going to happen when a driver who isn’t paying attention hits the third car involved?
SIDL: Yes, that was my fault.
MC: You could all very well end up in wheelchairs for the rest of your lives. Not moving the cars is dangerous and not at all smart.
SIDL: Yes, well, I need to get back to my information here.
MC: Holy smokes…**shakes head and walks away**
Let me explain something, folks. This was a three car collision. The third car in line rear ended the second, which rear ended the first. Let’s assume they had wisely decided to move out of the roadway prior to my arrival. However could I piece this Rubik’s Cube-esque puzzle together? I mean, one car is gonna have only rear end damage, the other only front end damage, and yet another front and rear damage?!?!? Goodness gracious me!
How’s about this? Why don’t you stop being a selfish drama queen and think about the safety of others for a moment. Or, hell, be selfish….it’ll still result in you moving because you don’t want to get hurt.
There’s a reason I love traffic, ladies and gentleman. I can rely much less on what people, be they involved or witnesses, tell me. The evidence speaks for itself. This fender bender (and it was nothing more than that) was no different.
Or, how about this…why don’t you just do what the man with the badge and gun tell you to do? Now, before some of you haters out there get all up in arms about abuses of power and other such bullshit nonsense, why don’t we stop and think about it. Don’t you think that maybe the guy the state of California has seen fit to issue a badge and gun to might just have more training in public safety than that time you went to the PTA meeting and your kid’s Boy Scout troop leader taught you about the importance of buckling your safety belt? Do you think that maybe I have to consider more than who’s at fault for a piddly little accident?
Yes, we get it, you’re not at fault. You’re the first car in line in a rear-end collision. Rocket science this is not. Perhaps, however, your concerns should extend beyond worrying about your insurance rates to not getting killed in a more serious accident because you’re too narrow minded to be concerned about anything else.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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9 thoughts on “Just move the car already.

  1. So to sum it up, if it's moveable, move it out of the F#%@%^ing road?

    Gotcha! 😉

    (Pretty sure its law here that you have to move it out of traffic lanes if it's moveable, dunno. common sense would dictate as much though. I mean come on- people talking on their phones drinking their lattes and texting have places to BE!)

  2. Also, a loving note from dispatch: callers, when we ask you to move it's BECAUSE THE OFFICER SAID SO. I don't give a rats ass if you sit in traffic or not. The officer does. Since I do what I'm told, I relayed the message. Don't argue with me.

  3. Sounds like Town PD must have messed up that previous case pretty bad for the one woman to be so paranoid that you would similarly do a bad job.

    What the woman does need to do is learn to carry a camera. They are small now, and they can make good evidence that you, the victim, has control over.

  4. The dude with the indecipherable handle hit it right on the head- you can't tell me everybody in that collision didn't have an iPhone(not having an iPhone, or stooping to have a >gasp< Droid would get you kicked out of Town.) 30 seconds to take a video while walking around the cars would be all you need.

    There is a general misconception that electronic pictures and video are somehow inadmissible because they can be easily manipulated. This is not true. The nature of the image goes to WEIGHT, no admissibility. That means that the person who says they shot the video's credibility is at issue. If the witness that brings the video says they didn't manipulate the image, then you attack the witness' credibility. You can even bring an expert to say that the video was messed with. But from a fundamental perspective, iPhone (or mortal phone) camera video or stills are just fine for court.

  5. Besides it isn't always easy to figure out who is at fault in a rear end collision. Sometimes the car that was at fault got away and wasn't involved in the chain reaction collision itself.

  6. @North State DA, taking pictures following the collision will help if you have to move the vehicles out of the road, but it won't be as much help as a video of what happened prior to the collision.

    My best guess at the reason why the lady was so upset was that she might have have rear-ended someone that cut her off and got unfairly PCFd with VC21703 – Tailgating. Unfortunately, most cops think along the lines of "Read-end == not leaving enough distance in front of you == guilty."

    If you are a good but REALLY paranoid driver (or if your job depends on a clean driving record), invest in a camera system such as DriveCam that records 10 seconds of footage BEFORE as well as 10 seconds AFTER the moment it's triggered by a traffic collision or a violent maneuver. It used to be only available to companies operating commercial fleets, but now they sell that service consumers, with parents of teen drivers being the main demographic.

    When I do get around to having teenage kids of driving age, there won't be any ifs or buts about having a DriveCam or something similar in their car as long as I'm the one paying. While I could care less if you safely do 90mph on an empty freeway, your downright-shitty driving because you weren't paying attention until it was too late, is another matter entirely 😉

    Just watch this.

  7. My script for accidents still in the road:

    Anybody hurt? Anybody need medical attention?

    Can these cars still be driven?

    Get them out of the street.

  8. It’s a common myth that the lead car in a rear-end collision is automatically not at fault. They could easily be at fault through careless merging or other circumstances. Just wanted to clear that up.