It’s a New Year

Time for your buddy MC to turn over a new leaf and make those resolutions a reality. Over the past year, I’ve gotten a number of comments about how I unfairly cite people because I’m just plain mean, or a bully, or I was bullied in high school, or I’ve a Napoleon complex, or a small penis, or insecurities, or some other such nonsense.

You win.

I’m going to treat every stop in a new light. I will think of the driver’s perspective and how hard their lives may be right now. I will not treat the Vehicle Code as some sort of rule book drivers should follow, but as more of a guideline. After all, the driver could very well have a reason for doing whatever it is they were doing. I need to have the kind of respect for my fellow man that allows me to put myself in their shoes and feel what they do. It can’t be easy being stopped by a guy like me. It must be intimidating what with the gun and all, not to mention the leather jacket and those stupid ass aviator sunglasses.

From this moment forward, 2010 will be the Year of Understanding for MC. I will embrace the softer, more liberal approach to life. I will attempt to connect with the drivers on an emotional level and try to truly ascertain the reasons behind why they were violating the law. I will refuse to bow to the pressure of the community to make their streets safer at the cost of potential financial woes inflicted upon the unsuspecting driving public.

You, the motoring public in and about the state of CA, are now my most valued contacts. I will let you talk ad nauseam about your personal injustices and how your day has been irrevocably turned on its ear because I had the audacity to stop you for a minor infraction. As a matter of fact, I apologize in advance for my obvious disdain for you, your timetable and your apparent lack of ability to manage your time. I don’t know what I was thinking. If you could see your way clear to forgive me my former transgressions, I promise to make this a better year for all of us.



P.S. You know I’m fucking with you, right?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

19 thoughts on “It’s a New Year

  1. Dude, you KNOW part of the reason you took this job is the hope of pulling over some of the pricks we endured in high school . . .

  2. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were being just a touch sarcastic there.




    P.S. You know I'm doing it right back at you, right?

    Happy New Year, MC.

  3. oh man…THAT was great!!!! Really MC, you out did yourself. I think you're just the best 🙂

  4. Very funny. But all I ask is that you treat each stop individually. Don't treat each lawbreaker, minor or otherwise as if he/she is just some thug out to get you or harm you. Be cautious, but be pleasant. You do represent the people of your community after all. Where you have discretion, and it is the proper place to use it, then do so, or not. Your choice. But be pleasant. Also, remember, you are not always right. Sometimes you didn't actually see what you claim to have seen (rarely, I admit, but it does happen). Sometimes people have just made an inadvertent mistake, with no intention of doing anything wrong. And, people never like to be stopped by a cop, just like you don't like to hear their rants or excuses. But, you have the duty to be the better person. Don't just try to make veryone a criminal that you can.

    Have a good day, be safe, and keep a good attitude.

  5. To Paladin,

    Do you really think he doesn't give a break where one is warranted? Do you really think that MC is not pleasant to those who he stops that are not belligerent? Give the man some credit, he is a professional. This blog is the outlet for his frustrations. Not a place designed for folks to throw rocks at him.

  6. Who are you and what did you do with my kid? That nasty attitude took years to develop and nurture to the art form it has become. I was relieved to read at the end that you were “kidding” with your readers(no mom wants to believe that her kid knows – or uses the “F” word) cuz otherwise there was going to be some kind of intervention in your future. I am certain that the streets of the Town are grateful to have the real MC haunting the streets – they need the ridiculous amount of revenue he generates to keep that high maintenance place running!

  7. Whew…. I was getting ready to demand you tell us what happened to the other cop.

    You start getting politically correct on me, I'm outta here!!

  8. A kinder, more gentler traffic cop…ah if only we had that here in the great white north….then there wouldn't be news articles like this (below). Never mind the surgeon was going nearly twice the speed limit, and could have caused some serious injury, death etc if he'd lost control of the car he was driving. It's the police that are the bad guys in this.

    The public's self centered arrogance is alive and well here in Canada too.–traffic-cop-holds-up-speeding-surgeon

  9. If I didn't know you my whole life, and have the exact tone of voice in which you wrote this ringing through my head like a finely tuned chorus from any of your favorite Rage Against the Machine songs, I also would have been duped into believing your poetic facetiousness. Well played, good sir. Well played. Now rally round the family.

  10. Hahahaha Priceless! You had me for a moment.. (A short brief moment of till I peaked at the P.S.) Happy New Year!

  11. Hi, MC! I'm a new reader of your posts and I have to say, I LOVE IT!!! I, like many other people, generally have a small amount of dislike for Law Enforcement (until I need their help, LOL). However, I do respect the fact that you are human first and I applaud you for speaking your mind here in this blog. Keep up the great work, I am enjoying every bit of your rants!

  12. You know MC, I had a similar thought with the coming of the new year. This year if I get pulled over for asshat-like driving I'm going to answer all questions the cop asks honestly, while I gaze into their eyes with the awe and respect they deserve, and thank them profusely for taking the time to correct me to the tune of several hundred dollars.
    And I certainly won't waste their time and the taxpayers money by choosing to go to court hoping the cop don't show up or if they do, are noticeably intoxicated.
    Yep …a new leaf.

  13. MC, I lol'd on this one. Really. I read it just like you probably intended.. full of "WTF" as I was reading it, then laughing and feeling better about myself at the end. Good work.

    Oh, and I corrected an egregious error. You're now part of my blogroll. Sorry it took me this long to getcha there.


    I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder!! The thought of you being a liberal in any sense!

    HA! One for the record books, for sure.

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