I hate the fucking sun…

Okay, not so much the sun per se, what with the life giving light and all, but certainly the hellacious heat that fucker throws off. I know, I sound bitter, but let me explain. I ride a Harley Road King. It throws off about 225 degrees of radiant heat from the engine. I wear wool motor pants. They don’t breathe (or is it breath?). I also wear about 20 lbs of various equipment on my cool Batman utility belt. Not done yet…I also wear a bullet proof ballistic vest. It weighs about 10 lbs. And that sure as shit doesn’t ventilate well (see how I avoided the breath/breathe problem there?)

All of that is warm enough when its 80 degrees outside. When that large ball of gas in the sky switches up the celestial thermometer to in excess of 90 degrees, or like today, over 3 digits, I become very, very uncomfortable. My point, you ask? Twofold, really.

First, if you get pulled over, how’s about you do your best to stop in a fucking shady spot, huh? You are far more likely to illicit a warning from me (chuckle), but its the principle of the thing, really.

Second, it gets progressively hotter throughout the day. That means I go out as early as I can and knock out a quick 10 or so and then I head back to the PD to not sweat in unmentionable places.

And this is where I am pulling back the curtain and exposing the Great and Powerful OZ. Odds are I am not the only motor cop in the world doing the same damn thing. So, if you pay attention, you will learn that on hot days, your odds of getting stopped when it’s hotter than the hinges of Hades out drop dramatically. Don’t say I never gave you nothing. (And me, a Lit minor).

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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3 thoughts on “I hate the fucking sun…

  1. Oh yes, you do crack me up! First of all … stop whinning (or is it wine-ing). Your dad used to go into burning buildings in temperatures you can't even imagine. Secondly, it's breathe [Webster says: (of a material) to allow air and moisture to pass through easily: The jacket is comfortable because the fabric breathes.] And me … just a lowly mom without a college degree. I guess this just proves you are a smart but it's not your fault – you are the son of a couple of smart asses! xoxo

  2. I am a little befuddled (or is it befuddled?) that you didn't know it was breathe. seriously… Pull a Dan Quail, why dontcha.

  3. ha…ha…haaaa.. first to comments are funny… not! thanks for the tip, but if I get a ticket later in the day I'll bill you 😉