Today, much like every other day, found me sitting at one of my favorite spots watching for the usual. Using my handy-dandy Lidar’s DBC (Distance Between Cars) function, I get a rather large truck following much too close behind the car in front of it. The truck was an F-250…with a lift kit. It looked like it was going to eat the sedan in front of it.
At any rate, I stopped the behemoth and contacted the driver. It went a little something like this…
MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Monster Truck Driver: Nope.
MC: You were following the car in front of you far too closely. (I then launch into my patented explanation of why I know a driver is too close…coming soon to a blog near you!)
MTD: Oh, man. Are you serious?
MC: Yes, sir. Do you have your license, registration and insurance?
MTD: Yeah. (turns around to previously unnoticed small human in rear seat of behemoth). Can you believe this, Angel (name changed for literary entertainment)? The one honest guy on the road and I get stopped.
MC tries to maintain a civil tongue while taking the requested items and returns to bike to write ticket. MC returns.
MC: Sir, I need you to sign on the highlighted yellow portion, please.
MTD: I can’t believe this. People driving past me at 100 mph and you stop me when I wasn’t even that close to the guy. It never fails, Angel, this guy is stopping us while people are out there running red lights, speeding, and doing much more dangerous things.
MC: Or, and this is just a suggestion, you could take responsibility for what you did.
MTD: I am. (Now holding the cite book)
MC: Alrighty, then, why don’t you do that by signing the citation, please.
MTD: (glances at Angel) I can’t believe this.
MC: Sir, no one was driving anywhere close to 100 mph. Stop being overly dramatic and exaggerating. You’re setting a terrible example for Angel. Drive safely.
Yeah. The One Honest Guy. Such a shame…