Alas, you are not. Allow me to explain…
I can’t count the number of times I’ve responded to a business or home for some random 911 call or other nonsense where nothing actually happened or the phone was misdialed. More frequently than I’d like to have happen, there is inevitably some clever SOB who looks at some co-worker, family member, derelict, whatever and the SOB says, “Oh (insert name here), they’re here for you.” Hyuk, yuk, yuk.
Hey. Dumbass. I’m not there for (insert name here). And, what’s more, your ‘joke’ is fucking lame and old and I’ve heard it a zillion times before.
So, here is my solution I plan on implementing the very next time it happens. Actually, there’s a couple solutions:
1. I’m going to have the serious ‘cop look’ on my face, look at (insert name here) and dead pan-ly (real word?) say “He/She is right. Turn around and put your hands behind your back.” Then I’m going to take my cuffs out. They will all chuckle. Then I will use the ‘cop voice’ and say, “HEY! Do I look like I’m kidding. I said turn around.” Just enough to make them all wonder if I’m serious. Then, I just might turn to the original jokester and let him/her know just how funny their stupid joke is.
2. (And much more likely solution) I’m going to tell the jokester, “Actually, I’m not here for (insert name here)…I’m here for you. You’ve got a warrant. Turn around and put your hands behind your back.” Then, I will pretty much continue the above scenario.
I’ve got to have some kind of solution to end the ridiculousness that is that stupid joke.