To be fair, it’s not as hard as you think to make me smile. I’m a jovial cat.
Well, perhaps smile isn’t the best choice of words. Smirk may be closer to the truth. So, the title of this post may be a mite misleading. That being said, though, there are some circumstances that elicit a bigger smirk than others.
In the past, I’ve said and stand by that if you can make me laugh, you have a solid shot at a pass (note the distinct lack of the “W” word). You’ll notice that making me laugh and smirk are two distinctly different reactions. Laughter means we shared a moment. Smirking means I’ll share our moment with the world.
I had one such smirk last month when I stopped a gentleman (not pictured below) and he attempted to Jedi trick me into giving him the aforementioned pass.
He was unsuccessful.
MC: Hey, sir, do you know why I stopped you?
Violator: Can’t say that I do.
MC: Shame. Well, you were speeding with your seatbelt hanging out the door while your toddler climbed over the front seat to sit on your lap and hold your blunt for you. (Not the actual violation, but the violation is but a mere vehicle used to tell this tale). Also, your registration is expired and the temple width on your sunglasses exceeds 1/2″ (that’s totally a thing).
Violator (this part is legit): But, you already gave me a ticket.
This is something I will never understand and, as you no doubt know, I take this venue’s reach and educational status incredible seriously. So, it is my deepest honor to inform the masses, nay, the world, of the following:
I get to write you as many blessed tickets as I bloody well like if you keep violating the vehicle code. It ain’t “One and Done” time. For example, let’s say I see you speeding. I stop you and cite you. Then you drive away. In excess of the posted speed limit. I get to do that shit again!
Can you imagine the glee? And not that goofy crap show on Fox. I’m taking exultant joy type glee.
I hope you have found this post informative and you won’t go forth with the assumption that you get to do the adult equivalent of my six-year-old arbitrarily yelling, “Base” when playing tag because she knows the reckoning is coming.
Feature image courtesy of Flickr and Kostya K