How to Disarm A Cop

The British Edition


This lady (I guess) seems to think she can disarm this NYPD officer.

I love the British.

They’re quaint. They’re polite. They have excellent beer.

However, I’m not sure this is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard a Brit say.

First, let’s address the obvious. It’s incredibly tempting to question the veracity of the presence of two X-chromosomes; however, I don’t want this to devolve into juvenility. Again, even though it’s so. very. tempting.

Second, let’s start with the overly dramatic hyperbole of her concern regarding her morning coffee ending in a gun battle.

Here’s a suggestion, dearie:

Don’t try to disarm the cop in front of you.

That seems a legitimate way to avoid being shot.

Third, which is directly related to the aforementioned suggestion, she seems to think she could disarm the officer and “fired all rounds without much effort”.

That’s fucking adorable. And remarkably stupid.

Allow me to educate. Here 5 reasons that statement is stupid:

  1. That is a triple retention holster. That means there are three levels of retention an individual must disengage to remove the gun from the holster. It is not a simple thing to do whilst wearing it and requires many hours of repetition and training…let alone defeating them while the holster is being worn by someone else.
  2. She claims she is “partially weapons trained”. What the fuck does that even mean?! Does that mean she can field strip only the most basic of firearms or does it mean she knows which end goes “bang”?
  3. Police officers have a shit-ton of hours training in weapons retention. Part of that training involves inflicting significant pain to the soon-to-be-hospitalized and/or soon-to-be-dead person attempting to disarm the officer.  Because guess what? If you try to take a cop’s gun, that cop will rightly interpret that as a threat on his/her life and will react with the appropriate level of force to that threat.  (That means you’re going to most likely get shot.)
  4. This is America. Despite what the media would have you believe, the odds of a coffee shop full of people ignoring your attempt to disarm a cop would not be met with indifference or shouts of “God save the Queen.”
  5. She is British. As the original Imgur comment read, “Because the British have had a great track record of taking guns away from Americans.”

I recognize some of my British friends may find that last one mildly upsetting. I have two responses to that. First, it’s funny because it’s true. Second, no one wants to read “4 reasons”. “5” is better.

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I’ve taken the opportunity to have some fun with the foolishness that is this statement; however, there is an undertone to the statement that is unsettling.

This kind of perspective is becoming more pervasive in popular culture. This lady actually believes the tripe she is espousing. I have no doubt there are a number of folks that supported her statement and believe that America does indeed “have a problem”.

While I agree with her…we do have a “problem”…I think the problems we’re talking about are vastly different.

She thinks we have a gun problem. You know because a police officer was wearing a gun. Patently stupid.

I think we have a problem with ignorance and the encouragement a profoundly idiotic comment like this receives.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

42 thoughts on “How to Disarm A Cop

  1. She has watched James Bond movies too many times. What is she an MI6 agent? Or was it the Kingsman: The Secret Service that got her mind twirling…. I’m British and I can do that….. Like saying every Asian person knows Kung Fu

  2. 6) That scarf is hideous…7) Those glasses are the ugliest I have ever seen and draw attention to your fivehead…For those who dont know, it should be a forehead but hers is so GODDAMN big its a five…

  3. *sigh* Douchebags like this make me want to apologise for being from the same wee island. *Please* let her put her idiotic words to the test next time and then the cop can a) hand her ass to her a on a plate, and b) tell her to wind her neck in.

  4. On her various profile pages she calls herself an “activist”…..which usually means these days someone who knows nothing, hasn’t done a days hard graft in their lies and has an agenda that usually doesn’t benefit sensible society………
    Whilst we Brits do have some silly people saying silly things, Bee Lavender (for it is she) was born and raised in Seattle so is she really a Brit? (Perhaps her parents were or she changed citizenship?)

    How to disarm a cop – How to be stupid and end if in jail or the morgue more like!

    At least your cops are armed!

  5. A foreigner who wants to grab a cops gun and begin shooting up a coffee shop, for no other reason than she feels she is an expert at firearms and is so much more superior than Americans. What’s the definition of a terrorist? Or stupidity?

  6. I agree completely with your post,and find your comments “Spot On!”. She’s rather ignorant.

    The Brits have it backwards. Hot beer, cold women….

  7. She’s not British. She’s an American who lived in the Pacific Northwest until she was 33 years old.

    “Bee Lavender is an activist, author, entrepreneur, and social media pioneer. Her work has been reviewed and featured in The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, USA Today, The New Yorker, Salon, Time Out, NPR, the BBC, Utne Reader, Clamor, Bitch, Bust, Fast Company, Information Age, TechCrunch, and the Wall Street Journal, amongst many other publications. Her writing regularly appears in magazines, newspapers, anthologies, and radio programs in both the United States and the United Kingdom.

    Bee was born and raised on a peninsula west of Seattle. She currently divides her time between London and NYC.”

  8. She’s actually an American. I did a bit of research on her, and I discovered she grew up in the Northwest and attended Evergreen State. Which makes her contention even more incredulous, since she should already be aware of what an American cop looks like, that we are always armed with a firearm on duty (and often off), and that we are incredibly difficult to disarm.

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