Listen, I’m not solving the Hoffa case or JFK’s assassination. I get that. I’m aware. But in my little corner of the world, I’m doing what I can to make the streets safer for you, the motoring public….regardless of what your opinion of me is. So, when I pull you over for whatever the violation, would it be so bad to just admit what you did? Apparently, someone thought it was…
I was riding in one direction on a two-lane roadway. I passed a vehicle traveling in the opposite direction. The car was literally less than 20′ from me. I could see the silver buckle from his seat belt hanging against the door post. Not a big mystery. I made a U-turn and pulled the car over. The driver is now wearing his seat belt. I asked him if he knew why I stopped him. He said, “No.” I told him he wasn’t wearing his seat belt. And here is where it gets irritating.
The driver looks down at his seat belt, which he is obviously wearing. He is about to comment on that fact and I jump ahead of him and ask for his license and registration. He gave it to me without comment. I walk back and scratch out the cite. I went back to the car, hand him the cite book and asked him to sign the citation. The rest went a little something like this…
Driver: But, I’m wearing it.
MC: (knowing he was itching to say that very thing). Listen, you and I both know you weren’t wearing it when we passed each other and then you put it on. So how about you lose the incredulous look on your face and sign the ticket. If you don’t like it, you can go to court, but I’m not buying the “I was wearing it” defense. And just so you know, I was going to just give you a warning if you told me the truth, but you decided to go the other way.
Driver: (as I’m walking away…and just loud enough for me to hear) Thanks, dick.
MC: (trying to maintain composure) What’s that tough guy?
Driver: (shame facedly) Nothing.
MC: Yeah, ok. Ass.
Folks, what the hell is wrong with you? And I mean the broad “you” not you specifically. Unless of course you are the driver in the above scenario. In which case I have this to say to you. Fuck you, you pussy. If you have something to say, why don’t you grab your tiny little balls, man up, and say your piece. Don’t mutter something under your breath and then not repeat same to my face, you bitch.
Wow. That was harsh. In my defense, I get sick and f’n tired of people pitching a fit over some violation that is obviously their fault. In all honesty (no pun intended), I had every intention of giving this jackhole a warning had he simply been honest and admitted his mistake. I hate liars.
Now I’m well aware of what my job entails. On the other hand, I write so many damn tickets, I have no problem giving the occasional break for someone who is either honest or makes me laugh. If you can get me to chuckle, odds are I’ll cut you a break.
For example, one particular stop many moons ago, I stopped a kid for speeding. I don’t remember how fast he was going, but he was moving at a decent clip. I walked up to the car and asked him if he knew why I stopped him. His response? “I fucked up.” Honesty and he made me laugh. Kid got a break.
So, please, for both of our benefits…can’t you just tell the truth?