Honesty. Where hath thou gone?

Listen, I’m not solving the Hoffa case or JFK’s assassination. I get that. I’m aware. But in my little corner of the world, I’m doing what I can to make the streets safer for you, the motoring public….regardless of what your opinion of me is. So, when I pull you over for whatever the violation, would it be so bad to just admit what you did? Apparently, someone thought it was…

I was riding in one direction on a two-lane roadway. I passed a vehicle traveling in the opposite direction. The car was literally less than 20′ from me. I could see the silver buckle from his seat belt hanging against the door post. Not a big mystery. I made a U-turn and pulled the car over. The driver is now wearing his seat belt. I asked him if he knew why I stopped him. He said, “No.” I told him he wasn’t wearing his seat belt. And here is where it gets irritating.

The driver looks down at his seat belt, which he is obviously wearing. He is about to comment on that fact and I jump ahead of him and ask for his license and registration. He gave it to me without comment. I walk back and scratch out the cite. I went back to the car, hand him the cite book and asked him to sign the citation. The rest went a little something like this…

Driver: But, I’m wearing it.
MC: (knowing he was itching to say that very thing). Listen, you and I both know you weren’t wearing it when we passed each other and then you put it on. So how about you lose the incredulous look on your face and sign the ticket. If you don’t like it, you can go to court, but I’m not buying the “I was wearing it” defense. And just so you know, I was going to just give you a warning if you told me the truth, but you decided to go the other way.
Driver: (as I’m walking away…and just loud enough for me to hear) Thanks, dick.
MC: (trying to maintain composure) What’s that tough guy?
Driver: (shame facedly) Nothing.
MC: Yeah, ok. Ass.

Folks, what the hell is wrong with you? And I mean the broad “you” not you specifically. Unless of course you are the driver in the above scenario. In which case I have this to say to you. Fuck you, you pussy. If you have something to say, why don’t you grab your tiny little balls, man up, and say your piece. Don’t mutter something under your breath and then not repeat same to my face, you bitch.

Wow. That was harsh. In my defense, I get sick and f’n tired of people pitching a fit over some violation that is obviously their fault. In all honesty (no pun intended), I had every intention of giving this jackhole a warning had he simply been honest and admitted his mistake. I hate liars.

Now I’m well aware of what my job entails. On the other hand, I write so many damn tickets, I have no problem giving the occasional break for someone who is either honest or makes me laugh. If you can get me to chuckle, odds are I’ll cut you a break.

For example, one particular stop many moons ago, I stopped a kid for speeding. I don’t remember how fast he was going, but he was moving at a decent clip. I walked up to the car and asked him if he knew why I stopped him. His response? “I fucked up.” Honesty and he made me laugh. Kid got a break.

So, please, for both of our benefits…can’t you just tell the truth?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

11 thoughts on “Honesty. Where hath thou gone?

  1. That's one of my pet peeves. Seeing others with no seatbelt on- even those in back seat. If you ever see Amish riding along but no seat belt, go pull them over anyway.

    Keep up the good work!

  2. I was in a five-car accident a few years back. I was T-boned on the passenger side by a guy running a red light. My car was struck by two cars in the opposite lane, which also hit each other. This caused my vehicle to roll then come to rest on the roof. Thereafter, my car was struck by a third car while mine was upside down; that third car fishtailed out of control and hit a telephone pole across the street.

    I was wearing a seatbelt, as were the passengers in two of the three vehicles that struck me. The woman driving the other car that hit the pole was not wearing a seatbelt and went through the windshield because her airbag had already popped when she first hit me. She died at the scene.

    My car was totaled but I only suffered a cut on my scalp that required a few stitches. The other two belted drivers had minor injuries also. T-bone guy was not wearing a seatbelt and suffered multiple broken bones.

    This notwithstanding, I'm still amazed when people don't wear seatbelts.

  3. I see people without belts all the time. Its just hard to tell which car they were ejected from sometimes.

    Keep up the good fight MC!


  4. Fine, we'll stop lying when asked a question if you'll let us go if we can tell a joke that at least makes you smile. No matter how fucking stupid we are behind the wheel.

    Be Safe
    Atticus in Conocrd.

  5. Atticus, you absolutely have a deal.

    HM, that's why we hope for reliable witnesses (oxymoron anyone?)

    Dave and Jean, I don't really understand it either….job security, I guess.

    It does make me laugh when the Mercedes drivers get pissed about a $100 fine. um…..you drive a freakin' mercedes.

  6. I was stopped when I was young and stupid and scared of the police, so I told the truth. Now that I've seen shows like Speeders Fight Back, I can understand why people lie.

    The cop stops them for speeding and they say, "Yeah, I know I was speeding" and the officer gives them a ticket anyway. When they get to traffic court and the judge says, "Did he/she say anything I need to be aware of?" the officer is going to say, "Yes, he/she admitted they were speeding," and they're pretty much screwed.

    I, however, would still tell the truth regardless cuz I'm still scared of the police..lol!

  7. Don't be afraid Rebecca. You tickle em just right they roll right over on their back.

    Atticus in Concord

  8. Honestly (see the irony?), I don't care what you say. You and I both know you did something stupid and deserve a ticket.

    There have been occasions, seldom though they may be, that someone has had a decent reason for whatever stupid thing they did and they've gotten a break. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. So there.

    And that Speeders show? The only time I've lost in traffic court…now that I think of it, that's a good post in and of itself. Stay tuned….

    Atticus, stop giving away our Kryptonite secrets. We're the Po-Po and we know all…


  9. Ugh, JUST TONIGHT my EMT-B class started our trauma segment, and we were learning about the kinematics of motor vehicle collisions. Needless to say, I think we were all driving home slower tonight! I have also been cured of my desire to own a motorcycle.

    I've only been pulled over once, and I was soooo scared! The cop was really nice though, and told me up front he was only giving me a warning.

  10. Heavens forbid adults actually act like, oh I don't know adults? Responsiblity for my actions? Whats that?

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