This should be subtitled “One of the easiest arrests. Ever.”
There are a couple of funny things that happened during this evening. The first I posted about here. The second was our last stop of the nite. You know, the one you never really want to do, but what the hell, it won’t take long, right?
My partner and I were planning on slowing our mutual roll long before 0040 hours as we were scheduled to go off duty at 0100. By this time, my partner was driving…I guess since I had been awake for about 20 hours, he felt a wee more comfortable driving us around. Can’t say I blame him.
Anyway, about 0040 hours, my partner saw a car and decided he was heading toward the PD, so we’d follow him and see if he did anything stupid. If he did, we’d lite him up, if not, PD it is.
I shit you not, less than 1/2 mile from the PD, dude drives in the bike lane. Again, close enough for government work. We lite him up. But he keeps driving. And driving. He makes a right. And keeps driving. And driving. It’s the middle of the blessed nite, people. It ain’t like you can’t notice bright ass lights 20′ off your rear bumper. For a second, I thought we were going to be in a pursuit. It had been quite some time since I’ve been able to call one, so I was getting that adrenaline rush/happy/this is gonna be fun feeling.
Suddenly, dude hooks a quick right and slows down. He comes to a stop. Puss. We get out of our car. My partner walked up to the driver’s side and I to the passenger side. Stupid Drunk Guy, (SDG from here on out), is alone in the car. I heard the following:
My partner: You can’t possibly be the guy I talked to a few hours ago about a free ride.
SDG: No, that was last nite.
MP: No, it was three hours ago. In front of Local Shitty Hole in the Wall that Happens to Serve Beer. Get out of the car.
SDG makes his way to the sidewalk. Before we said word one to this idiot he says, “I can’t do any DUI tests. I have a bad knee.” Awesome.
MP: Sir, are you refusing to do any FSTs?
MP: Okay. Are you willing to provide a breath sample?
No sooner had I requested another unit to our location with a PAS, I got back on the air, canceled them and advised we had one in custody for DUI.
MP: Sir, you are under arrest for DUI. Would you like to provide a breath or blood sample?
MP: Sir, if you refuse the state required blood or breath test it is an automatic one year suspension of your driver’s license. Do you understand that?
MP: Will you provide a sample?
MP: Sir, understand that if you refuse to provide us with a sample, we will forcibly remove blood from your body with the assistance of a blood tech.
SDG: I want to talk to a lawyer.
MP: We’ll explain everything to you when we get to the station.
We transported SDG to the station and my partner read the refusal statutes we are required to read from DMV. In short, SDG has no right to consult an attorney at the time in question. The state requires a sample be given. End of story.
I gotta give credit to my partner. He was much, much more patient than I would have been. Even keeping in mind that we videotape refusals, I was still tempted to yank SDG out of his chair. He refused at every step, but, oddly enough, allowed the nurse to do her thing. Still counts as a refusal, though. Numb nuts.
The best part of this whole story? From the time of the stop to me walking out the door to go home was just shy of one hour. That’s gotta be some kind of record. Kinda makes me wish everyone would refuse the tests.