Hey! You! Stop being such a pussy.

I realize that this, my infantile blog, is often a source of rants on my part. Well, far be it from me to break my stride. This one is for you Anonymous PR (Person Reporting….don’t we know that by now?).

There are a number of things that nut me up a bit about my job. Some of them are unique to Motors and some are simply unique to me. This one, I think, is universally despised. At least at my PD.
The Anonymous PR.
The Anonymous PR is the man or woman who calls in the kids swimming in the HOA pool after hours but doesn’t think they should just grow a set and say, “Hey! Get the fuck out of the pool!” No, no. The Anonymous PR fears confrontation and, ridiculously, reprisals. Because Johnny Snotlocker is gonna be so bent out of shape you caught him sneaking a beer and a spa-side hand job from Suzie Cheerleader that he will inevitably follow you back to your house and key the shit out of your car or put 18 M-80s in your mailbox.
The Anonymous PR is the man or woman who calls in the solicitor who is Black or Hispanic and “just doesn’t look like they belong in Town”. Because Kwame Mabotoo (because he obviously threw off his slave name) is going to rally the local chapter of the Black Panthers or Black Guerrilla Family and do a little cross burning of their own on your front lawn.
And today…the Anonymous PR calls in a reckless, possibly drunk, driver, in Town. Not sure if there was a plate given or not, but there was a vehicle description. As it happens, my partner found the car (after it was involved in a collision with a different vehicle). The problem could be that maybe the Anonymous PR is the only one that can positively ID the responsible driver. Any defense lawyer worth a shit is going to want someone to put the drunk behind the wheel. We, the police, arrive on scene after all the parties are out of the car. We can’t put the drunk behind the wheel because we didn’t witness the crash. Sure would be fucking helpful if there were, oh I don’t know, a witness that could solve a major portion of the elements of our crime.
As it happens, with today’s issue, we were able to put the proper parties in the proper vehicles and we arrested a 20 yr old for being under the influence of medication while driving a vehicle. It looks like it wasn’t the first crash he got into today, by the way. It would have been much simpler had the Anonymous PR given a damn name and call back number.
So, please, Anonymous PR, stop being such a pussy and give us your info. We’re not gonna dime you off, but it puts a hell of a lot more credence to your gripe if you’ve got the wherewith all to identify yourself. If you choose to remain Anonymous PR, maybe we’ll get Anonymous Officer to respond to your typically trite and not-really-a-crime complaint….and no, I’m not saying the above fall into this category. More often than not, though, Anonymous PR calls are a waste of time and not a police matter.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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11 thoughts on “Hey! You! Stop being such a pussy.

  1. AMEN! I hate them. "Well I don't want my neighbor to know I called, but this music is just way to loud again." So sign a complaint or stop calling!
    I know all my officers hate those too.

  2. "I don't want to get involved, but…" or the "I am just doing my civic duty, I refuse to give you my name…" I hate taking those calls and I wish I just like the local 7-11 signs say…"NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE"…mine would be…"NO NAME, NO NUMBER, NO SERVICE"…and a helpful "thanks for nothing asswipe!"

  3. And now the anonymous PR will be able to text in their crap. Oh I love technology…

    …but not as much as you, you see?

    …but I still love technology,
    always and forever.

  4. (1st time post here)

    Ditto to the other commenters!

    Technology:
    Not the BEST way to go…just the ONLY way…LOL.

    Very nice blog…love the header!
    And some damn fine posts to boot.

    Stay safe out there

  5. Also, when people give their names it makes it easier for the police to enforce misuse of 911 laws.

  6. You tell it like it is Bro!! But when I first noticed the PR in your blog I thought it was kind of referring to sidenotes I put down:
    PR=prick
    AH= Asshole
    DW=Dickwad
    To give me a head's up in court testifying in case I forgot the prerson's "Demeanor" as in ( Da meaner they got the more of a prick I became).

    Our anonymous callers have gotten to be a lot less frequent now that everyone arounds knows WE HAVE CALLER ID on every phone line!!
    Work Safe!!!

  7. Whoa..that David must be NEW!! He actually thinks we have TIME to enforce 911 laws!!! Nice thought though!!

  8. Oh kid … I am so happy that you have this forum to unload! You have such a gift for saying it like it is without apology and yet it completely cracks me up. It makes a mother proud! Stay safe and play nice with the other kids!

  9. In the city where I work, if the PD gets a call where the RP doesn't want contact they usually take the call, then immediately go 10-8 NR (No Report) unfounded. Depending on the type of call of course.

  10. In the city where I work, if the PD gets a call where the RP doesn't want contact they usually take the call, then immediately go 10-8 NR (No Report) unfounded. Depending on the type of call of course.

    Since the 911 call is classified as "unfounded," then does that make it an illegal call where you are?