What follows actually occurred. I am still shaking my head.
On 3/16/09, I worked a little OT. As I was getting ready to walk out the door, my Sgt. printed out a detail dispatch advised him of. He thought someone was screwing with him (wouldn’t be the first time); however, it was legit. Here is the text in the detail
**PR refused to leave his name, insists upon speaking to a police officer regarding his neighbor who has frogs in a pond in the backyard that won’t stop croaking. PR refused to give his name or address of the croaking. PR is at the PD for contact**
Laughing as I read the detail (and happy I was already in civvies) I stood around the corner and tried to stifle my continuing laughter as I listened to the PR gripe about his neighbor’s frogs. The PR went on to explain he has already contacted Animal Control and they suggested contacting his local PD. The PR kept referring to some AC section about barking dogs, loud birds, and noisy fish. Noisy fish? Yes. Noisy fish. I didn’t know fish could be noisy, but apparently, it’s a possibility.
The Sgt. asked the PR if he had spoken to his neighbor about his caterwauling amphibian problem. The PR’s response? “I have no problems with the man. I don’t know him.” Uh, so, no?
What the hell is wrong with our society? Remember the days when you could walk next door and ask to borrow a cup of sugar? Or an egg? How’s about you just talk to the guy and say, “Hey, man, the pond in your backyard is full of frogs and I’ll be damned if they don’t keep me up all night croaking. Is there anything we can do to resolve that?”
They’re just frogs, dumbass. It ain’t like it’s a 100 lb Rottweiler trying to chew through your fence and nibble on your face. Lighten the fuck up. Some people actually buy noise machines to mimic the sound of frogs. I don’t think for one blessed second the neighbor was hatching some maniacal scheme to drive you insane through the seldom-used but oh-so-effective “Frog Sleep Deprivation Strategy”.
I can just picture the neighbor with a mad ego-maniacal face holding a hose and filling up the pond. He puts the hose down, rubs his hands together, and laughs, “Muahahahahahaha. My plan is working!!”
His back up plan? Koi Pond-palooza. Ingenious.