Harbingers Of Doom

Truly, I can’t make stuff like the following up…

A beat car got dispatched to a suspicious circumstance the other day. What was suspicious you ask? Birds.

Text of call: PR says there are 2 vultures on top of the vacant house to the left of the PR’s home. The house has been vacant for 3 months and states that this is not common practice for this species. PR says they can smell death for miles. PR just noticed them today.

So now we have an obvious ornithologist amongst us who is intimately familiar with the habits of carrion fowl. Great.

As if that weren’t amusing enough…I was sitting on the side of the road running a little Radar when a citizen stopped and told me he had seen a horse lying down on the hillside. The citizen added there were four or five other horses surrounding the downed filly and he was concerned it was dead.

Curiouser and curiouser. Perhaps the original PR wasn’t a complete moron. I drove over to check it out (mostly because I was curious, this not being anything close to police related and all). Sure as shit, I see a horse on its side, legs straight out. Looks dead to me. I figure I’ve solved the vulture mystery. I tracked down the now panicked horse wrangler. We went back to the hillside to see Mr. (d)Ed (clever, I know). Holy shit! It’s a bloody miracle. The horse is nowhere to be seen. Just a nice morning for a snooze in the warm sun. Turns out the original PR was indeed a moron.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

3 thoughts on “Harbingers Of Doom

  1. Holy crap! They pay you for this stuff? There really should be some sort of "code" for this kind of call … like "DA" the obvious Dumb Ass (nothing personal Jeff!). Then let's see how professionally the dispatcher can deliver the call. Gotta find the humor! Stay safe and play nice!!

  2. First glance that last word was 'Mormon.' I wondered how you spotted that, then reread it.

    I learn how to read I'll be all set.

  3. I read an article that said vultures prefer carrion that is only between 2 to 4 days old. Just a tidbit, in case you ever need it.

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