Go with the Flow

What kind of lame ass excuse is this for speeding?

MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: No.
MC: You were speeding.
Driver: But I was just going with the flow of traffic.
Really? You’re defense lies squarely on the shoulders of all the ‘other’ drivers that were speeding? This, of course, logically leads to the oft-quoted “If all the other drivers drove off a cliff, would you?” theory. Maybe you would.
See, though, here’s the thing. You weren’t ‘going with the flow’. If you were in fact going with said flow, I would have pulled over more than just you. This is what I’ll quaintly refer to as Hint #1. Hint #2 is that if you leave a pack of cars only to catch up to the pack in front of them, then you are surpassing the aforementioned flow. Hint #3: when you are passing other cars, you are, by definition, exceeding the flow. It’s a physics thing, kids, I’m not making this shit up.
So, please, do us all a favor and maybe actually go with the flow, because the flow isn’t going anywhere near as fast as you.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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7 thoughts on “Go with the Flow

  1. OK, this is a blog I have to follow, and I follow way too many these days. I adore what our people do, and I totally bow down in honour to you!

  2. I guess I have to admit to some curiosity here.

    Let's suppose there is a group of cars that REALLY are going with the flow of traffic AND everyone in the group is going over the limit. How do you handle that? Do you stop as many cars as possible? Do you target all the red cars? (drivers of red cars firmly believe this, as I'm sure you know.)

    The driver of the car(s) you stop can legitimately say that they were "going with the flow."

    Or is this such a rare set of circumstances that you never encounter it?

    Thanks for being there!

  3. People use this one regularly.

    I explain that "Going with the flow" will not hold up in court if the flow was 15 over the limit.

    You're still expected to see and obey the speed limit signs!

  4. That is the favorite line of people who get their panties in a twist when I go the speed limit. I cannot count how many times someone on the 'Net has told me that speed limit signs are meaningless, what you really are supposed to do is "go with the flow of traffic". Honestly, though, around here I hardly ever encounter the flow of traffic speeding.

  5. Our daughter actually called us a month ago.. asking.. if she could get a ticket for 'going with the flow of traffic'. Officer immediatley replied with 'dear, did you get a ticket?'
    -Dispatcher

  6. Thread jack here. Sorry!
    Motor,
    I LOVE "CASTLE". It's taken me a few episodes, but now I LOVE IT. Good call.

  7. I was driving on I24 west of Nashville this weekend, (I'm not from there…) and those people think they are NASCAR drivers! The flow was literally 80mph in the 70mph zones – so we were 'flowing' along in the right lane, and being passed on the left by people doing at least 90-95. It was NUTS. I'm a little more used to traffic around St. Louis that actually sticks around 60mph in the 55 zones.