Go faster or get the hell out of the way

I know I have been a bit lax of late updating. I’ve had the rather arduous task of breaking in my new Motor. (Cue the whiners in Patrol). At any rate, I’ve noticed something a little more in the past couple of weeks and it needs to be addressed….

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. I have two people in my car,

Allow me to explain the purpose behind the carpool lane (or diamond lane or HOV lane). It’s for you to GO FASTER than the rest of commute traffic. When commute traffic is chugging along at a slow yet steady 55 – 60 MPH, consider it your invitation to make use of the commute lane; however, when a marked Motor, Police Car, or for that matter, anyone comes up behind you, please have the common fucking courtesy to, at bare minimum, do the speed limit or, wait for it….MOVE OVER A LANE, JACKHOLE!

I can’t tell you how irritating it is to come up behind someone and have to slow down in what should be the fastest lane going behind some moron who doesn’t have the sense God gave a goat. Seriously, this isn’t quantum physics. I’m not asking you to construct a nuclear detonator. It’s a fairly simple, every day rule.

I shouldn’t have to explain this to you. You should be ashamed.



**On an amusing note, when I spell checked this post, the only word it didn’t recognize was “Jackhole”. I just thought that was funny…**

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

7 thoughts on “Go faster or get the hell out of the way

  1. HER: Harry, there's a cop right behind you!

    HIM: I'm doing the speedlimit hon.

    HER: For crying out loud, would you slow down? He's following you for a reason.

    HIM: I think he's just riding in this lane.

    HER: So what happens when he gives you a ticket? Our insurance goes up. Is that what you want? It's not like we don't pay enough already to that company.

    HIM: Yes but…

    HER: You remember what happened in Carmel? When you didn't listen to me?

    HIM: But that…

    HER: Not only will you have to pay the ticket, you'll have to waste the whole day in traffic school when there's work to be done around the house.

    HIM: Hon…

    HER: I don't know why you always have to drive in this lane. Mr. Speedy, always in such a hurry to get there.

    (Diatribe continues until Harry lets off a bit on the gas, not realizing he has a blogging cop on his tail.)

  2. I'm born in the USA, and Americans in general SUCK at driving on freeways. Europeans have it all figured out, they move their butts over. In fact in some countries like Germany, you can pass only on the left. You pass, and get your butt back over cuz there's a Benz doing 120mph coming up your tailpipe. The system works beautifully. However they do suck at driving in cities, especially the Italians. I think Americans are safer city drivers in general.

  3. Next time I am stopped for speeding, I will say "Officer, I was just trying to stay out of your way"..

    Yeah, that should work…

  4. AMEN! cops follow you for a reason, they want to get AROUND your slow moving a**!

  5. Maybe it was because every freaking moron out there pulls the halo effect and drives the speed limit or under when they see an officer (or a speed camera for that matter). That 1mph over the posted will surely get your butt pulled over…..idiots.

  6. Umm…. I don't think you have to be a LEO of any sort to get really pissed about this particular scenario!!

    p.s. — your spell checker should have also caught "consider it *YOUR*" (not "you're") ~ then again that's the problem with spell check. It's not grammar check.

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