Fun Police

MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: Cuz you’re the fun police.

Really? That’s your chosen response? Wow. Enjoy your $400 (or thereabouts) ticket.

The above is the Reader’s Digest version of my one and only stop on my 12 hr OT shift. I work a lot of OT, so I tend to not be as proactive as I am during the week because, quite frankly, I’m fucking tired. Just being honest…

At any rate, I was on my way to cover my beat partner when I see a Dodge pickup cruise by me. It’s an extended cab. It’s green. And it apparently comes standard with two kids hanging out the front and rear passenger window. Wait…that’s not right. On go the pretty lites and over pulls the truck…all the while kids are scrambling to readjust/reattach their belts. I walked up to the driver’s side window…and…

MC: Do you know why I stopped you?
Driver: Cuz you’re the fun police.
MC: Nope. I’m the one trying to prevent the death of your children. License and registration, please.

Of course, she forgot her license at home, but (indicating the children in the car) “they can vouch for me.” Vouch for you? What, are they staking you in a high stakes poker game, there, Annie Duke? Whatever.

I warned her for the additional violations (no CDL in possession and the second future Nobel Laureate winner not wearing the seatbelt). She asked me what the ticket was for. I explained it to her and she actually had the audacity to glare at the kids. Oh, hell no…

MC: You’re the driver of this vehicle and as such, it is your responsibility to ensure all passengers are properly secured…particularly when they are children.

I don’t know how many times I have to repeat myself, folks, but not only is wearing your seatbelt the law, you’ve got to be a complete moron not to wear it. Those of you who only occasionally wear it or straight refuse have never seen someone thrown through a windshield or seen a 17 yr old girl’s degloved calf…google that one, why don’t you? Not you, Mom, you will not dig it. Not even a little.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

9 thoughts on “Fun Police

  1. In light of your previous post about budget cuts, will they be cutting back OT in your department in the near future?

  2. Just tell them I can't wait to meet them. I call folks like this "future customers."

    When is that anti-stupid law going into effect again?

  3. My idiot 16-year-old son (they all are idiots at that age, so it's not really a personal comment… great kid otherwise) rolled his pickup truck last spring. High speed. No alcohol or drug involvement, just testosterone & age-related idiocy. At least 3 1/2 rolls. Pickup came to rest on its roof, stopped by a friendly tree.

    He and his best friend were in the cab, which was pancaked into the body of the truck.

    Friend was airlifted to a major trauma center. Son got a backboard and an ambulance ride to the local hopsital.

    Both walked out of the hospital the next morning with only minor injuries. Not even a broken bone although both boys had matching, mirror-image, dramatic bruising of their collar bone areas.

    The Lord God looks after fools and little children — but He seems to do a better job for the ones that wear seat belts when they're otherwise being fools.

    Any mom who doesn't habitually wear her own seat belt, and make it so much a part of the routine that the kids don't even *think* about it anymore by the time they get to the teenage years, is a Bad Mom. I don't care what else you do for your kids: your first job is doing everything you can to make sure they live to grow up.

  4. Thanks for the warning kid! I was just about to go look! And to "Nick" … I sure hope they don't cut OT! It's likely less expensive than actually having the bodies to cover the beats. Besides – my grandkids need shoes!

  5. Nick,

    Yes and no. The overall department, yes. My particular assignment, no. On the average, I work about 35-40 hrs of OT each month. Most likely, my little enclave won't be changing much.

    I am now holding my breath…

  6. One thing I WISH we had standard on every school bus is seatbelts. Its an every day fight to get some of these kids to plant their butts in the seat! Makes me realize that mom (or dad) is not making them sit down and buckle up.

  7. You dont have to post this, but THANK YOU for doing what you do.

    Tonight i had to call my local non emergency dispatch cuz some guy was banging on the front part (the part we dont use) of my apartment complex at midnight. They sent a unit and while i waited, i was able to watch where the suspect went so i could tell the unit that responded. I'm grateful to have you folks (Police) respond quickly and promptly. So, THANK YOU!!!

  8. My kids grew up believing that the car can't go until all the seatbelts are fastened, and more than it can go if you don't turn the key.

    I think one of them figured out that it wasn't quite true when she started driving. I don't think the other has figured it out yet.

  9. Let's not forget the pets! They should be seatbelted in also. My father a retired fire captain would tell you he saw more pets after an accident scared to dealth get his by a car because they were disoriented. Buckle them in to the seat belth with a caribeaner (sp?) so when help arrives they don't have to scrape them up off the roadway!

    Quercki – Ya, Funny about our cars here.. They can't go into drive mode without everyone in the car having the seatbelts on properly.. That.. and it all of a sudden pulls over when one comes undone. Hmmm.. We never have a problem with it.

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