Fishing is Easy

Especially when they jump in the damn boat

Fishing

Sure, it’s more of a challenge, but sometimes it’s just fun when they jump in.

Summer. I’ve written recently about the number of things I hate about it…and it wasn’t the first time. Having been a motor for nine summers, I’ve ranted about my disdain for summer (and the sun in particular) before.

One of the consequences of the worst season of the year is the distinct reduction in traffic due to school being out. But worry not, my fretful friends! For there resides hope in your intrepid hero’s desire to hit his 10 x 10 goal. (That’s 10 cites by 1000 hours, by the way. After 1000, it tends to get Stupid Hot, and I prefer to be cool.)

One of the reasons I started as a motor officer was due to the fact that traffic violators generally piss me off.

For example: Carpool violators.

I’m 10-8 (on duty) at 0600 hours. Even at that hour, there are people cruising down the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane when traffic is still fairly light. But when traffic stacking up and you’re late for your [insert thing I don’t give a shit about]? Well then, you just hop on in and take your chances.

And that is where today’s tale takes us.

Fishing is easy.

When I go to court, I have to spend a bit of time on the freeway. Over the past few weeks, I’ve taken to making two laps of about 3 miles in each direction. In the span of an hour to an hour-and-a-half, I typically get about seven or eight tickets.

And here’s the thing: It’s almost like cheating, it’s so easy.

Why? Because violators snitch themselves off and I have to do next to nothing.

All I do is cruise along in the #2 lane and one of two things will happen:

  1. A solo driver will simply drive right by completely oblivious that I’m there.
  2. A solo driver will see me and hop real quick-like into the #2 lane behind me.

The #1 driver is a piece of cake, but it’s more like legitimate fishing. I get a fish on and then I gotta reel that sucker in.

The #2 guy?

That dude jumps in the damn boat. All I have to do is change lanes and slow down and that sucker practically clubs himself in the head and lays down in the cooler with the other fish.

So, yes, I continue to not enjoy the summer months. But the fishing on the freeway is keeping me cool.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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