Ever had a gramma call you an Asshole?

I have. It’s funny. And not really far from the truth, depending on your perspective, of course. It went something like this…

I stopped a woman a couple weeks ago for doing 53 in a 40. During the initial contact she was sweet as could be. She was probably in her late 50’s or early 60’s. She had a seven to eight month old baby in the rear seat. She was late taking little Johnny or Susie to her daughter’s place. I went back to the bike and wrote her a ticket. I brought it back to her and she said, “This really pisses me off.” I tried to explain to her that I understood and no one likes to get a ticket.

She went on to say, “I see assholes doing stupid shit on this road all the time. Why don’t you stop any of them?” I told her I stop anyone I see committing a violation and issue them a ticket. I just happened to see her committing a violation. She kept pitching a fit. I said something to the effect of, “I wasn’t sitting in the car pressing your foot down on the accelerator.” I was quickly tiring of her weak ass excuses. I mean take some responsibility why don’t you.

As I’m walking back to the bike she says, “You’re an asshole.” This formerly sweet natured gramma type. Unreal. I stopped and said, “I’m a what now?” Then I walked back to the car and said, “That’s a fantastic attitude you have there and a stellar example to what I assume is your grandchild. Have a good day.”

When she started to drive away, she chirped the tires a bit and I yelled, “If you speed away from here, I’ll write you another ticket….cuz I’m an Asshole!” Man….talk about personal satisfaction.