Criminal Tip of the Day

Dear Criminals,

Hi, Lawbreakers. MC, here. Listen…I wanted to take time out of my busy day to give you a little heads up. If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live, don’t be a complete dumbass and post that very item on Craigs list.
If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live, don’t post a picture of it on Craigs list next to the other shit you stole.
If you steal something from the neighborhood in which you live and you post a picture of it next to other stolen shit, don’t answer the door when the Police come knocking.
If you answer the door after posting the stolen items on Craigs list with photos of said items with other stolen shit, at least have the decency to invoke your Miranda rights.
If you fail to invoke your Miranda rights after answering the door having posted picture of stolen property with other stolen property, just give up your life of crime. Because you suck at it.
Thanks for taking the time to read!
Cheers,
MC.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

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6 thoughts on “Criminal Tip of the Day

  1. Awww come on. If they do all those other stupid things, what's the chances they'll invoke their Miranda rights?

  2. OMFG.

    The Great American Public.

    What would we do without them?

    (Word verification: rested. As in A-rested? Hmmm…)