Click it or…Jail?!?

Dear friends, there are so many simple, obvious reasons to buckle up…and carry ID…and not snort cocaine…and not go into business selling cocaine…and not recruiting your friend who is on probation. Curious? Read on…

Last week, I was close to wrapping up another blessedly uneventful work day. Alas, it was not to end as uneventful as it began. In front of me, I saw a passenger in a Toyota SUV sitting in the front seat without his seatbelt on. Far be it from me to let it slide, so on go the lites and over pulls the Toyota.
I walked up to the driver’s side and briefly contacted the driver. I explained why I stopped her and went on to talk to the passenger. He told me he didn’t have any ID, so he told me his name. Let’s call him DDM (will explain later). DDM told me his date of birth and I walked back to the bike to run him out (request CDL check along with a wants/warrant check). I barely finished getting the info out when I got a heads up from my partner, Ofr. Bitterman (his choice), that DDM had a warrant. Dispatch confirmed it a few seconds later.
I walked back up to DDM and told him to get out of the car. He did. I told him to put his hands on top of his head. He did. I placed him in custody and told him he had a warrant for his arrest. He didn’t put up a fight of any kind. I searched him incident to arrest and found three baggies of white powder, a glass weed pipe, and $600 in cash. He admitted the powder was cocaine. Awesome. Long story short, DDM (Drug Dealing Moron) went to jail for possession and possession for sales. All because he didn’t wear his seatbelt.
The story gets better though…
While we were processing DDM, his cell was blowing up with texts from folks who were looking for some product. Ofr. Bitterman recognized one of the texts as being from ADDM (Another Drug Dealing Moron). Ofr. Bitterman has a Rainman like memory/knowledge of the majority of shitbag troublemakers in Town. Mention one guy’s name and he can rattle off ten people who are associated with him. Long after I had gone home, Bitterman got the okay to conduct a probation search on ADDM. ADDM’s mom let Bitterman into the house and stood by…oh, did I forget to mention ADDM is a juvenile? Nice work, Mom!
At any rate, Bitterman explains the situation to ADDM and tells him his room was going to be searched. What did Bitterman find? Scroll down….

**Image deleted** (Imagine a line of cocaine on a recent president’s picture)

Too damn funny for words. ADDM admitted to selling about 1/4 ounce of cocaine prior to Bitterman’s arrival as he had been tipped off about DDM’s arrest. ADDM said with high school graduations approaching, they couldn’t hold on to product for long at all. ADDM had about $250 on him as well. He went for similar charges DDM went for…luckily, Juvenile Hall took him. Apparently, they were anxious to get reacquainted with ADDM.
So, to recap…DDM wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Had he been wearing it, I never would have stopped him. DDM didn’t have an ID. Had he had ID, I may not have run him out. Had he not had a warrant, I may not have searched him. Had he not had $600 on him, he wouldn’t have had an additional Sales charge. Had his phone not been blown up, Bitterman wouldn’t have done a probation search on ADDM. Two people went to jail (one to Big Boy Jail and one to Baby Jail) all because DDM didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Click it or Jail. Indeed. That was my original thought for the title….Bitterman’s title was Click it or get arrested…and take a friend down with you, too! Agreed, my friend. A good day for the both of us!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

12 thoughts on “Click it or…Jail?!?

  1. While we were processing DDM, his cell was blowing up with texts from folks who were looking for some product. Ofr. Bitterman recognized one of the texts as being from ADDM

    Lucky you. In Cali you can search a seized cell incident to arrest without a warrant. Not so in my state.

  2. The warrant was also for his prior cocaine possession charge too. Cuz it was my case….BITTERMAN!

  3. just came across your site, very interesting.
    Is there nobody out there not using some kind of drug these day whom you come across? anyway all the best.
    John Gibson

  4. Nice! I love it when they fall like dominoe's!!

  5. John,

    Welcome and I hope you enjoy. And to answer your question, I think more people than in the past are on some kind of drug, be it prescribed, OTC, or illegal. It's just a matter of whether it prohibits them from driving or is straight illegal. But I've got no hard evidence to back it up….just my experiences over the last decade or so.

  6. ok, Just remember the citizens say enforcing seatbelt laws is not "real" police work! I am going to have to slap your left hand. I think there is a federal case ruling that says an officer may search a cell phone with out a warrant so the hug a thug may want to research it. I know the ruling covers Texas but I am not sure if it is supreme court or appeals circuit. Next time just write a warning so you won't throw the curve on "real" police work theory…….

    ok dude, nobody is looking, high five! great job!

  7. I SO printed out that pic of GWB with a coke line next to his smiling face and hung it in my office- its AWESOME!!!!!

    FYI- coke is WAY cheaper than meth right now. There is a massive swing from meth to coke in my county, and indeed, all of CA. First time in a decade.

  8. Hands down this is your best post ever, packed with irony and a neat "butterfly effect" twist ripped from the steaming asphalt of your day-to-day reality. Well told and an excellent job.

  9. too funny…

    i guess that's a perfect example of just how not-so-smart your neighborhood street corner drug dealer really is.

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