Amanda Bynes is an Idiot

Today, published a story on an actress that took to social media in response to a DUI charge.  You can read the brief article here.  But here’s the gist:

On June 5, 2012, actress Amanda Bynes tweeted the following:

“Hey @BarackObama… I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. The end.”

Back in April of this year, she was arrested for DUI in California after allegedly hitting a police car.  On June 5, she was was officially charged with one count of misdemeanor DUI.  If convicted, she faces six months in jail.  Let’s operate under the assumption that the last sentence is complete horseshit.  You and I both know if convicted she won’t spend any near that much time in jail…if any at all.

(And if you didn’t know that, please let me know how the unicorns in your land have gotten by over the years.)

On May 27, 2012, Bynes tweeted, “I can’t help but laugh at all of you writing fake stories about me. I was not in any hit and runs. I don’t drink so the DUI is false.”

Pretty interesting since she refused to provide any blood or breath sample.  For those of you that aren’t aware, California law requires a driver suspected of DUI to provide either a blood or breath sample.  Refusal results in an automatic one year suspension of one’s driving privilege.

Yes, I said privilege.  Because that’s what it is.  Driving, like going to college, is not a right.

Another interesting factoid: the DUI section of the vehicle code includes both alcohol and drugs.  Note that she tweeted that she doesn’t “drink”.  Huh.  Wonder what she had on board, then.  Total conjecture, but you get the point.

Oh, Amanda, there are so many things you just haven’t had the benefit of learning.  Allow me to take this opportunity to educate you on a few of them right now:

Falcor of NeverEnding Story Fame

1. The president has two things to do with this case.  Jack.  And shit.  He could no more fire the officer than fly to the moon on Falcor.  And by the way, do you think our embattled president a) gives two shits about you and b) would bother hitching his wagon to your train wreck during an election year?  What are you, drunk?  Too soon?

2. You can’t defend yourself in a court of law via Twitter.  You may actually have to show up to court.  You know, like at your sentencing.

3. You seem to have been deluded by a small modicum of success in Hollywood into thinking that an individual at the federal level can save your dumb ass from your own stupidity on a local level.  Please refer back to #1.

4. I know I’m getting older and all, but I had to look you up on because I barely know who the hell you are except for another ubiquitous bangtail from SoCal.

5.  You owe me ten bucks for having never seen “She’s the Man”.  I assume it was horrid and you should pay me for having to look up a movie you’ve starred in.

Amanda, I hope the cop that hooked you wrote the best damn report of his career.  I hope he detailed every objective sign of intoxication you had.  I hope he had a dash cam or even better, a body cam, and it documented every “Do you know who I am” and “Do you know who I know” you uttered.

At the end of the day, this DUI is going to be a speed bump in your maladjusted little existence because your agent/handler/sycophant will do all that he/she can do to jump start an obviously faltering career.  It isn’t even the deuce that irks me, it’s your utterly asinine tweet to the freaking President of the United States.

Enjoy your year of suspension, nimrod.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

49 thoughts on “Amanda Bynes is an Idiot

  1. I dunno, I liked her in Hairspray.

    If only because she had a crazy-ass hairdo that made her look like the Grand Poobah of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalo.

    But even HE wouldn’t be allowed to weasel his way out of a DUI. So she can go suck it.

  2. Freakin’ awesome. I don’t know about you, but at my agency we don’t har a problem forcing blood, post refusal. If you wanna play games, I’ve got more than Milton Bradley. Bring it. Too bad they didn’t force blood out of her worn out holier than thou @$$.

      • Out if interest, why force a blood sample? If refusal to provide one is an offence in itself leading to a driving ban, isn’t forcing someone to give a sample anyway redundant?
        (And if you di force them, and it turns out to be clean (Unlikely, I suspect, but possible) can they still be prosecuted for the original refusal?)

        I’m in the UK, here, failng to provide a sample (without reasonable excuse) is an offence and results in a mandatory 12 month ban, and can also incur fines or imprisonment (or a longer ban)

        I belive that officers need to obtain a warrent to take blood amples y force, and I don[t think this would be granted for drink driving (I think the powers are used mainly for obtaining DNA samples in cases of rape or serious assaults)

        I always find it fascinating to see what similarities and differences there are in diferent jurisdictions!

        • In CA, we force blood if there is a refusal because it is further evidence of a crime having been committed. In layman’s terms, it is seen as exigent circumstances and thus not a violation of the 4th Amendment (Search & Seizure) because the evidence (alcohol in the blood) is being destroyed by the body’s normal functions. Thus, no warrant is necessary.

          If a suspect refuses, they will still be charged of course, but our year long suspension is from the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) and is purely administrative; whereas, the sample will be used in the criminal proceeding.

          • One thing you SHOULD mention is that the refusal and the associated forcible sample collection only applies after the suspect is placed under arrest on suspicion of DUI. Prior to the arrest, field sobriety tests (designed for failure) and PAS are strictly voluntary, and can be refused without penalty. On the other hand, there may still be enough objective symptoms of intox to place them under arrest.

          • FSTs are not designed for failure. If I can do them wearing 20 lbs of shit and in motor boots, you should be able to do them as well. The PAS is indeed voluntary, not the state mandated chemical test; that being said, though, it is simply another tool that allows me to make a more informed decision.

          • Well MC, that statement is disingenuous to say the least. Given the amount of practice you’ve had in demonstrating the test to your customers and the knowledge of the standardized FST scoring criteria mean you’ll do better than 99% of the people off the street regardless of sobriety. This is especially true for the walk-and-turn and one-leg-stand tests, which may be a good measure of one’s dexterity, agility, and luck, if not sobriety. To put it bluntly, some people are just plain fatter and clumsier than others. The HGN test is a bit more reliable due to it relying mostly on involuntary body movements, but even all three as a combination are no real indicator of impairment, and usually only serve to buttress an otherwise dodgy case, unless the subject is visibly intoxicated and will either blow/bleed at least .12% or have other drugs in the system – usually rendering FSTs superfluous, anyway.

            All I know is that staples of police work such as ballistics, DNA, or fingerprints had the same error rate as FSTs administered to sober people, none of them would even be admissible in court.

          • Hey, Society and the Law dictate FSTs. Not me. If you ask me, when you sign for your license, you should be signing that you’ll blow in a PAS willy-nilly. If you ain’t drunk, you’ve got nothing to fear.

            I operate in the system that was set up for me.

          • In CA, we force blood if there is a refusal because it is further evidence of a crime having been committed. In layman’s terms, it is seen as exigent circumstances and thus not a violation of the 4th Amendment (Search & Seizure) because the evidence (alcohol in the blood) is being destroyed by the body’s normal functions. Thus, no warrant is necessary

            Figures that such an argument would fly in a Left-Coast, Peoples Republik of Kalifornia court. I thought I lived in the land of idiot judges, but that’s just bad. Here they can only force blood, with a warrant, if serious injuries resulted. Piercing my body and removing part of it to obtain evidence when the refusal to do so is already a crime should be arrestable in itself.

            And no, I don’t hate cops, I like em fine, love the guys I work with. Nor do I drink and drive.

          • Hey, I’m not saying I agree with it, I’m saying that’s the law under which I have to operate. I think the hoops I have to jump through with all the FSTs and such is a monumental waste of time. Again, I think when you sign for your license, you forego the ability to refuse a PAS. Problem solved.

          • If you ain’t drunk, you’ve got nothing to fear.

            IS that anything like “If you’re not a terrorist, you have nothing to fear from wiretaps/body scans/pat downs/etc”?

  3. A “C” list Hollywierd celebrity who is an idiot. I hate to say it, but the title for your post may have contained redundancies.

  4. I had to look her up too. According to Wikipedia, she was stopped by LAPD in March for talking on a cellphone while driving. The kid’s got a lot of smarts. (sarcasm)

  5. You just made my day. I’m positively crying over the hilarity/ridiculousness of my fellow Californians. Don’t get me wrong, we have plenty of whack jobs up here in the northern half, but at least they don’t tweet the President when they get busted. At least I don’t think they do. Regardless, thanks for the belly laugh

  6. Spot on info, but I do take issue with one statement.

    “Yes, I said privilege. Because that’s what it is. Driving, like going to college, is not a right.”

    The same can be said for access to healthcare or pensions (a.k.a. getting paid for not working).

    Besides, if driving is a privilege, does that mean I can drive however I want, and anyone who doesn’t like it needs to STFU and take the bus, instead? These days, the ability to drive is a necessity and ought to be recognized as such.

    • Driving is absolutely a privilege. As long as you follow the rules of the road, one can drive. Continued violations equals a revocation of one’s driving privilege.

    • Driving is not a necessity. I know plenty of people who do not drive and they do just fine. There is public transportation, bicycles, and good old fashioned walking one’s fat ass over there. Yes, I know some places are like, super far. But I guarantee you any place that is too far to walk to, you can get a ride at least to walking distance, if not straight there.

      Also, I never liked Amanda Bynes. Ever since she was like, 10 and starred on All That, which I loved, I couldn’t stand her. She’s loud and obnoxious in every character she’s ever played, and despite how much I dislike her, I’ve still seen several of her movies and they invariably include the scene where she takes a bored as hel guy and makes him watch her try on a bunch of outfits because that’s like, totally all any girl like, ever wants to like, do. In “What a Girl Wants,” she actually has two of those scenes.

      I am going to tweet Mr. Obama and ask that he make sure she gets jail time.

      Oh, did I miss the point of your post?

  7. Look. Cut her some slack. She saw the kid on TV get a note from Obama for playing hookie and she thought, Hey! I’ll give it a shot, well two shots if you count the tequila. At any rate, she is a very mildly important person and I am sure that the DUI will totally ruin her career if she can’t get that role as bus driver on Glee.
    BTW, Motorcop, I need a note for work because I am fake sick and don’t wanna wake up at 4 am. Can you send me an excuse to get out of work? Tell em that you accidentally handcuffed me to a tree and your 4 year old ate the keys. Thanks!

    • I totally would have hooked you up, but I only accept outlandish requests via Twitter. Have you not been paying attention?

      • Outlandish???? But this is what I normally do for fun. I am into handcuffs and all that others stuff….. BTW, happy #OvershareMonday!

      • Pay attn to what-the Thou shalt not overshare sign @ the front door? So what’s the difference btwn blood & piss tests?

        • In CA, the required chemical test is either blood or breath. The only difference between those is basically how the sample is obtained…via your breathing or getting a needle jammed in you somewhere.

      • Paying attention to what? That “Thou shalt not overshare on Mondays” sign posted at the front door? Anywho, I have a sort of ask MC question you maybe have answered before but I am too lazy to look for. What is the advantages/disadvantages/differences between a piss test and a blood test for a DUI? Do different agencies prefer one over another? is one better in a particular circumstance? Do your blood tests have anything to do with the Twilight series of movies and the Cullen clan? If so then I am totally Team Jacob and stay away from my neck. Mahalo.

        • It will never cease to amaze me how popular a truly crappy writer can be. Meyer is a hack. My apologies to hacks everywhere.

  8. WHY do people give these idjits any credence or pay any attention to them. From the ‘actors’ who publicly declare war on vaccinations [yeah, thanks for the resurgence of diseases we nearly had wiped out] to those who declare what is and isn’t healthy (based, i can only guess, by what their psychics and mystics declare), I’ve had more than enough.

    Also, unicorns are tasty. Just saying.

  9. I think she would have been better off to have shown some class and kept her mouth shut. She only made herself look like a bigger fool. However, there shows her intelligence level.

  10. MC,

    Having many LEO friends it particularly bothers me this bitch drove into a Police vehicle. Last year a friend of mine here in Maryland was working graveyard as Sgt, and stopped suspected home invasion suspects and was walking from the suspect vehicle back to his cruiser when a superdrunk ran into the back of his car and pinned him between his car and the one he stopped, crushing his knees. He was out of service for six months. Thankfully the judicial system put the bugger in the clink for a while. What it is about the flashing lights on cruisers that attract drunks is beyond me… I hope she gets six months plus a sentencing enhancement.

  11. Yeah, that’s why I did not move to Cali. Too many of these… aspiring superstars from all over. I feel for you, regular/normal people who live in Ca. How do you restrain yourself from smacking those?

  12. So what do the vehicle and penal codes call for regarding two in such a short time frame? I know in Georgia the penalties are stiffer for more than one in ten years.

  13. She’s been battling serious addiction and alcoholism for years. Look it up. Sad, she was a real talent as a kid.

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