Alright, Ramblers. Let’s get ramblin’…

Ah, the Rambler. I love you, guys. You embody the epitome of contradiction at every turn. Those of my ilk amongst you can attest to the Rambler’s innate ability to say one thing, yet do the exact opposite.

Case in point…
MC: Good afternoon. Do you know why I stopped you?
Rambler: No, but I’m in an awful hurry, so get to the point.
MC: Odd that you should say that, sir, seeing as how I stopped you for speeding. Do you know what the speed limit is on Main St.?
Rambler: I’m not from here.
MC: Is that right? Where might you be from?
Rambler: The next town east of here.
MC: You might find it interesting to know that you have the same exact speed limit signs in your town as we do here. It’s almost like they’re uniform for a reason.
Rambler: Well, I don’t think I was speeding.
MC: Well, sir, I assure you that not only are you entitled to your opinion and your day in court, I got you on lidar and you were, in fact, exceeding the posted speed limit.
Rambler: The hell, you say.
MC: As you said, sir, you are in a hurry and I don’t want to keep you any longer than is necessary. so, if you’d be so kind, I need your DL, reg, and insurance, if you please.
*I now, no joke, scratch out the cite in about 90 seconds…after all, cat’s in a hurry.*
MC: Okay, sir. If you’ll just sign on the highlighted yellow portion, we’ll get you on your way.
Rambler: I just don’t think I was speeding.
MC: Unfortunately, sir, you were. Again, if you’ll just sign…
Rambler: I’d like to see the radar.
MC: I can’t do that, sir. See, I used lidar, not radar. That notwithstanding, I’d be happy to show you the lidar, sir; however, are you no longer in a hurry? Because if you want to see the lidar, it comes with an explanation and will take a couple of minutes. I’m not just going to show it to you and assume you understand the technology behind it.
Rambler: It’s my right.
MC: Actually, sir, I have no legal obligation to show you my equipment. I typically show it upon request as a courtesy.
Rambler: Okay. I’d still like to see it…
At which point, I give my spiel about the differences between radar and lidar. Usually takes me about two to three minutes. That’s not long in the scope of things…but weren’t you in a hurry, ya jackwagon?
The lesson here is this, folks….don’t think that your timetable and mine dovetail. I’m on salary and work (a minimum) of ten hours a day. I literally have damn near the whole day to write you up. Your attempts at pressuring me into hurrying only serve to amuse me and make you fodder for my blog.
So, thanks!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. Snark is encouraged. Being a prat is not.

7 thoughts on “Alright, Ramblers. Let’s get ramblin’…

  1. I love reading your posts, or as I like to call them, what the hell NOT to do if pulled over by an officer. Crack me up!

  2. "Your attempts at pressuring me into hurrying only serve to amuse me and make you fodder for my blog."

    I love your blog fodder… keep teaching us, MC. Thanks!

  3. DA…totally!

    Andrew…I'm sure I've posted about it before. But for the sake of a short answer…

    Lidar sends out a light wave as opposed to a radio wave (radar). It is target specific and very accurate. I put the pretty red dot on the car I've already visually estimated and confirm said car's speed with the lidar.

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